Something strange happens with age.
Someone's life interacts with yours once, twice, or more during your youth. Then you and he (or she) fall out of touch for many years, and you only find cause to think of them on rare occasions.
But one day you discover that this person who's not a current part of your life died years ago, and against all logic, you still feel an incredible sense of loss.
I've been through this twice in the last couple of months.
Once concerned a woman I'd known all through our school years, but hadn't seen since 1974. She died a few years ago but I only learned of it two or three weeks before today.
Another concerned a man I'd come to know when I owned my comic shop. I hadn't seen him in twenty years or so, and I recently discovered he died almost that long ago.
In both cases, I felt that incredible sense of loss that I mentioned above.
If I may be allowed to get a bit dramatic here, let me just quote Jim Starlin and say "Never again will the stars shine as brightly for me."
Thanks for your time.
Well, I guess we had this conversation on Facebook, where I said that I've been shocked to learn how many people from my high school graduating class have died, including the first boy I kissed. We were in junior high. He stuck his tongue in my mouth and I bit it. I didn't know what French kissing was.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I thought my little Facebook observation was worthy of a slight revamp and a re-posting here.
DeleteIt's a very uncomfortable feeling when someone you've dated dies.
I'm not sure loss was what I felt, more "that sucks, we had some fun times," I guess when it has happened. One I never saw coming, not that you usually do, but the how he died I wouldn't have guessed. That was a bit shocking. But I haven't seen them in like 16 years or so, so can't say loss was there. Although I get it.
ReplyDeleteEven though they aren't/weren't currently in my life, their permanent absence, with no hope of change from that status, somehow creates a noticeable void for me. If that makes any sense.
DeleteI feel odd about those things, too, even when I haven't had a close relationship with the person. I think it's just the idea that someone my age is now gone. Seems like we should all have at least 30 more years before we start thinking about our friends dying.
ReplyDeleteI went to my ten-year high school reunion in 1984, and five of my classmates were already dead. I know for certain that it's at least eight now, but I'm sure it's much higher!
DeleteI think it's up to 25 or 30 from my graduating class. I think our class had 400-some people in it. Some people I knew in college are probably gone, too.
DeleteI believe there were at least eight people gone already by the time my five-year reunion took place—a few to cancer, a few to bad choices. I have no idea what the current number is at (we're at the thirty-six-year point), but I see my classmates posting about this person or that on a regular enough basis that I'll bet that number's in the dozens now.
DeleteI think there is this deep connecting of souls in the journey. Losing an old friend or boyfriend can be painful. A guy I dated took his own life I mounted for a long time even though I hadn’t seen him in a long time. There is this unexplainable bond.
ReplyDeleteOn a deeper mysterious things had a dream about a guy I knew who hurt me deeply. One night I had a strange dream and he was in my dream. A long story short he was asking me to forgive him and in my dream I kept saying No. At the end of the dream I finally said okay. The next day a friend of mine called me and she just read on Facebook this person died. I don’t have Facebook and I haven’t talked to the friend who called in a long time, yet she called to say he died.
Needless to say I was stunned. Why did he come and search me out? Was I something unresolved? Is there a universal connection that unites the broken fibers of our lives? I was deeply disturbed after this and shared the happening with my dream circle.
I have many stories like this Silver, maybe some time I will share them over that drink.
And this long-discussed drink will be when, exactly? ;-)
DeleteWell, I would have gone to Mohegan had I known.
DeleteUnderstood. But I didn't know until the last minute.
DeleteAnyway, I will definitely be at Mohegan Sun on August 9th and 10th...
Hmm I edited this yet my words were not saved...lol.. don’t go on a rant...
ReplyDeleteWhy would I rant? It's not your fault it didn't update.
Delete