A relatively short'n'goofy one this week. So it goes.
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Five Celebrities Tell "What I Did On My Summer Vacation."
Clint Eastwood, age twelve (1942):
I went to summer camp this summer. I am ashamed to say that I wanted to get out of some of my daily chores, and I bullied one of the younger kids to help me. I didn't hurt him or nothing. I just pointed a loaded slingshot at him and said "I know what you're thinking — 'Can he hit me with that thing at this range?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I'm kinda unsure myself. But, being this is a slingshot, the most powerful weapon in this camp and would put your eye out, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" He was scared, and said no. So I took him to my tent, brought him over to my bunk, and said, "Go ahead... Make my bed."
Steve Winwood, age seven (1955):
I had lots of fun this summer!
My family went camping. I couldn't get to sleep because there were frogs croaking in a nearby pond, and mosquitoes buzzing around me, and crickets chirping and owls hooting and stuff like that. I finally got so frustrated I sat up and yelled "Shut up!" My older brother Muff started laughing and said, "Stevie, that's the first time I ever heard of anybody talking back to the night!"
My brother Muff was there for me when I got a crush on a girl named Valerie who ended up not liking me back. He told me I should just roll with it.
Then there was the day I was swimming in our pool. Muff and some friends had formed a band and were playing in the backyard. I've always wanted to be a singer, so I asked a buddy who was in the pool with me if I should get out of the pool and try to sing with the older kids. He said "While you see a chance, take it," and I got out of the pool and ran to the microphone. Luckily, my dad yelled at me not to touch it (the mike, I mean) because I was all wet, and would get shocked. He was screaming, "Don't you know what the mike can do?"
Elvis Costello, age nine (1963):
I didn't do too good in school last year, and had to go to summer school. At first I was mad because I couldn't play with the other kids until the afternoon, but I decided to look on the bright side and write a song about it because that's what I want to do when I grow up. My song went like this: "Every day, every day, every day, every day I ride the bus..."
James Bond -- the character, not any actor who's ever portrayed him! -- age nine (year unknown, date of birth listed variously as 1913, 1920, 1925, etc.):
I spent my summer vacation avoiding all the icky bleached-blonde girls who were throwing themselves at me. I HATE girls! And every one I meet always has a stupid name, too! I can't wait until I'm old enough to get my licence. Then I can buy a souped-up sportscar of some kind and get away from them even faster!
Blondes! DUMB blondes!
Tom Petty, age five (1956):
I learnd to swim this sumer and wuz prity good at it. In fact I liked the swimming part better than walking into the
oshin
ocean itself because thewaste-deep waist-deep wayves almost knocked me over.
The wading is the hardest part.
* * * * *
Ummm...yeah. Thanks for your time.
* * * * *
Five Celebrities Tell "What I Did On My Summer Vacation."
Clint Eastwood, age twelve (1942):
I went to summer camp this summer. I am ashamed to say that I wanted to get out of some of my daily chores, and I bullied one of the younger kids to help me. I didn't hurt him or nothing. I just pointed a loaded slingshot at him and said "I know what you're thinking — 'Can he hit me with that thing at this range?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I'm kinda unsure myself. But, being this is a slingshot, the most powerful weapon in this camp and would put your eye out, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" He was scared, and said no. So I took him to my tent, brought him over to my bunk, and said, "Go ahead... Make my bed."
Steve Winwood, age seven (1955):
I had lots of fun this summer!
My family went camping. I couldn't get to sleep because there were frogs croaking in a nearby pond, and mosquitoes buzzing around me, and crickets chirping and owls hooting and stuff like that. I finally got so frustrated I sat up and yelled "Shut up!" My older brother Muff started laughing and said, "Stevie, that's the first time I ever heard of anybody talking back to the night!"
My brother Muff was there for me when I got a crush on a girl named Valerie who ended up not liking me back. He told me I should just roll with it.
Then there was the day I was swimming in our pool. Muff and some friends had formed a band and were playing in the backyard. I've always wanted to be a singer, so I asked a buddy who was in the pool with me if I should get out of the pool and try to sing with the older kids. He said "While you see a chance, take it," and I got out of the pool and ran to the microphone. Luckily, my dad yelled at me not to touch it (the mike, I mean) because I was all wet, and would get shocked. He was screaming, "Don't you know what the mike can do?"
Elvis Costello, age nine (1963):
I didn't do too good in school last year, and had to go to summer school. At first I was mad because I couldn't play with the other kids until the afternoon, but I decided to look on the bright side and write a song about it because that's what I want to do when I grow up. My song went like this: "Every day, every day, every day, every day I ride the bus..."
James Bond -- the character, not any actor who's ever portrayed him! -- age nine (year unknown, date of birth listed variously as 1913, 1920, 1925, etc.):
I spent my summer vacation avoiding all the icky bleached-blonde girls who were throwing themselves at me. I HATE girls! And every one I meet always has a stupid name, too! I can't wait until I'm old enough to get my licence. Then I can buy a souped-up sportscar of some kind and get away from them even faster!
Blondes! DUMB blondes!
Tom Petty, age five (1956):
I learnd to swim this sumer and wuz prity good at it. In fact I liked the swimming part better than walking into the
oshin
ocean itself because the
The wading is the hardest part.
* * * * *
Ummm...yeah. Thanks for your time.
