Short Shorts on Transportation (A David'Z RantZ Post from 5/21/08)

1. You know, they've been making automobiles for well over a hundred years now. In all that time, why the hell haven't the car manufacturers gotten together and said, "Okay, everybody, once and for all: We put the gasoline tank filler pipe on this side!" It would save so much time and confusion at the gas pumps if we could all drive up to the pumps the same way. The federal government loves regulating all things concerning cars, like emissions devices, safety features, and what have you... Why don't they step in and say, "From 2015 on, all gasoline tanks must be filled from the left [or the right... or even the center, behind the license plate]. We hated to pass this law, but it was painfully obvious that the idiotic auto companies were never going to get around to it."

2. On a related note, I will never believe that the government is truly serious about protecting automobile passengers until someone steps in and protects the children we send to school in those death traps we complacently call "school buses." When a school bus gets in an accident, its cargo of young lives is about as well-protected as a dozen eggs would be if I placed those eggs in a plastic bag and threw said bag against a nearby wall. "Save the children," indeed.

3. Finally...

For as long as I can remember, I've heard jokes and complaints about how the airlines lose people's luggage.

I can fix that. Right now.

What the airlines need to do is to remove a few unnecessary steps from the whole process. Each company needs to hire someone who is currently working for a bus company like Greyhound, Trailways, Peter Pan, et al, -- Are all of those companies still in existence? -- quadruple their salaries, and let them tackle the way things are being done.

Within weeks, these new consultants will have instituted new systems where, after going through baggage security checks, each passenger brings his (or her) own bags directly to the plane he'll be flying on. Then he'll watch as it's loaded onto the correct plane, so he'll know it'll fly to the same destination he's going to, at the same time that he does.

What could be simpler than that?

(Pay me.)

Thanks for your time.