History's Bravest Two Men? (Edited from 6/5/10)

A question that often arises is "If you could hold a conversation with (or have dinner with, etc.) any five men and/or women you want (living or dead), whom would you choose?"

Answers usually include those that history regards as great men, such as -- in no particular order -- Lincoln, Jesus, Muhammad, Einstein, Gandhi... Others prefer celebrities like Marilyn Monroe, one or more of the Beatles, or Elvis. Personally, I don't have a definitive list of five, but I'd probably go with five that would include some or all of the following: Orson Welles, Johnny Carson, Barbara Stanwyck, Jack Benny, Harold Lloyd, Charles Dickens, Victor Hugo, Natalie Wood, Wallis Simpson (Duchess of Windsor), George Harrison, Charlie Chaplin, Abraham Lincoln (yeah, me too), Buster Keaton, Elizabeth Taylor, Jean Harlow, Douglas Fairbanks Sr., Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Janis Joplin, Billie Holiday, Alexandre Dumas, June Foray, Paul Frees, Cyrano de Bergerac (the real guy they based the play on), Katharine Hepburn, Thomas Jefferson, Debbie Reynolds, Dorothy Parker... at least one star from the early rock'n'roll era, like Gene Vincent or Roy Orbison... and probably (okay, definitely) some comic artists (comic books or comic strips) like Wallace Wood, Jack Kirby, Milton Caniff, Windsor McKay, Jack Burnley, John Rosenberger, or... Hell, my biggest problem would be trimming down my list of "wants" to only five! Or ten! Or twenty!!!

Especially since I'd wanna add one -- maybe two? -- others. I've long been of the opinion that one of the bravest men in history was the first person to eat an egg. No, really. Say all you want about about how hunting may have been scarce at some point, and so some caveman scooped a handful of eggs from a bird's nest, but think about it: Would he have done so, no matter how hungry, if he'd seen where the egg had... umm... originated?

Here are two scenarios, featuring cavemen (Neanderthal, Cro-Magnon, who cares?) whom I've named Oog and Uk, as they sit around the campfire:

* * * * *

First Scenario

Oog: Hey, Uk, are you hungry? Want some of these left-over mastodon steaks?

Uk: No, thanks, dude. I'd much rather chow down on these oval things I saw a big bird squeeze out of its butt!

* * * * *

Not bloody likely.

* * * * *

Second Scenario (again, with Oog and Uk sitting around the campfire, and we'll stick to Uk's dialogue only, here)

Uk: Hey, Oog, what's that yellow stuff you're eating? (pauses, as Oog replies) Scrambled what? (Oog answers again.) Any good? (Oog nods.) Mind if I try some? (Oog nods again. Uk takes a mouthful and chews it.) Not bad. Where'd you get this stuff? (Oog tells him. Uk immediately looks nauseous.) Don't tell me that, man...

* * * * *

So, was Oog the bravest man in history, or was Uk (who probably continued eating, even after Oog's "revelation?") Food for thought... no pun intended.

And how about the guy who gave the artichoke its English name? Why on Earth would you name any food something with the word "choke" in it?!?

Okay, I'll stop there.

Thanks for your time.

P.S. ~~ COMING SOON! (Watch for it!) A Re-Posting of One of the Best (and Longest) Stories I Ever Posted on This Blog!