"Unfortunate" Comics, Part Two ~~ A "Comical Wednesday" Post

Hello again, fellow babies! Time for Part Two of "Unfortunate Comics!"

I'm gonna start off with three items to which I've given no category:

"Fun buns?!?" Excuse me?

Oh, great, let's start up those old rumors again...!

And this one's just... dorky.

Now, here's a category I call "Poker Face." Someone needs to explain to me why Golden Age comics so often utilized villains threatening women with hot irons!

Here's a weird one, which I call "Alice Doesn't Live Here Any More":

The hero of the "Golden Knight" series, Sir Richard, happens upon a young woman named Alice. Alice, who was separated from her parents as a child, lives in a village called Namara. Namara has been cursed by a villain named Bawara -- hey, folks, I don't name these things -- nicknamed "The Black Death."

Sir Richard and Alice invade the stronghold of The Black Death and are taken prisoner!

"The girl pleases me." I think we all know what that means. The sleazy one has equally sleazy plans for Alice.

But... Seeing Sir Richard tortured in the dungeon royally ticks off Alice, and she's the one who saves the day!

Now here's where it gets a bit... odd.

Let's ignore the whole Alice-just-happens-to-be-The-Black-Death's-daughter idiocy, and... well... Am I the only one who remembers Bawara's "The girl pleases me" bit? And she turns out to be his daughter? In a word: Ew.

Now, friends, for those of you who think I'm long-winded, here are two examples of comic writers who must have been paid by the word:

The second one's even worse! Notice all the dialog in panels 2, 3, and 4 that's  supposedly taking place as the thief slips and falls! And after all that, the scene isn't even important!

So, you see? I'm not so bad!

Thanks for your time.

Dressing It Up ~~ A "Sepia Saturday" Post

My mom is second from the left in the top row.

My Uncle Eddie is last on the right in the front row!

My mom, who was raised by her brother-in-law and older sister (as explained here), was constantly involved in pageants and choral performances. So was mom's older brother Eddie. The following scenes are from some of them, running from the late 1920s to early 1930s, by my estimate.

Here's mom...

My Uncle Eddie is on the far right.

Eddie and my mother, Anita.

 

Here's mom, slightly older. (I'd say late teens.) She's first on the left in the middle row. Her sister Josie sits third from left in the same row.

And just to show that mom's tendency to dress in costumes made it to the next generation, here are a few photos of Yours Truly over the years.

I actually played a dog in a high school production of "Cheaper by the Dozen."

That's Yours Truly on the far left, as Ebenezer Dorset in "The Ransom of Red Chief." The only good role I ever got in high school!

Dressed as a "greaser" for April 1st, 1974.

While working as I waiter, I dressed as Moses for Halloween!

And here I am in my favorite band -- well, the favorite band I was ever in, that is -- Viper!

Be sure to check out the other Sepia Saturday entries. Personally, I don't think I'll get to most of them until Monday!

And thanks for your time!

"Unfortunate" Comics, Part One ~~ A "Comical Wednesday" Post

Here's a two-part Comical Wednesday post, fellow babies. These are items which, for one reason or another, I've decided to call "Unfortunate Comics!"

First, a category I call "Low Blow." Now, was it the artist or the scripter who was responsible for the unfortunate -- There's that word again! -- placement of the body hits here?

This is a category I call "Watch Your Hand, Buddy!" It kinda speaks for itself.

Here's something unusual. The boy superhero, Captain Marvel Junior, had an odd magic word -- two words, actually -- which transformed him from "crippled newsboy Freddy Freeman" to Captain Marvel Jr.: "Captain Marvel!" (Long story.) Thus, he was unable to say his own name without changing to or from his superheroic identity!

Ummm... When the writers remembered that fact, that is! (In other words, Junior should have wound up in the reservoir!)

Now, these aren't comic books, but rather, comic book characters! But I still wanna include them, and label them "What Were They Thinking?!?"

And finally (for today) here's the cover to Police Comics #116.

Pretty cool cover, innit? Yeahhhh, except for one thing, which is not immediately apparent unless you've read the comic, as I have: The cover shows a scene from the very end of the story, a scene which shows who the story's "bad guy" is and how the hero catches him! Talk about spoilers!

And that's it for today. See you next week.

Thanks for your time.

All Things Must Pass?

Here's an update on my health, seeing how so many of you seemed genuinely concerned when I told you about my recent kidney stones.

Today, in the wee, wee hours -- you should pardon the expression -- of the morning, my stone passed. You probably think that's great news. I did, too... until the now-familiar pains returned approximately ten minutes later.

That was at 3:30 a.m., more or less.

At 6:30, I awoke again, and passed another stone.

At 8:30, I passed a third stone... and judging from the pain I'm now feeling, there's at least one more in there.

So there's your update.

Thanks for your time.

Briefly...

Don't worry, folks, I'm not going to disappear for another few months again!

However...

During the past week -- well, Thursday July 4th through Tuesday July 9th, technically -- I had a kidney stone. If you've never had one, you're lucky. Over the years (I've had them before) two female nurses have told me that the pain from kidney stones is roughly akin to labor pains. So that's roughly how I've felt, off and on, during the past week.

That unwanted little visitor left me on Tuesday morning.

Wednesday evening, another one showed up! (It hasn't left yet.)

All this means to you is that I haven't had much time for blogging or even thinking about blogging.

But it's only temporary. No, really.

Thanks for your time.

David'Z RantZ ~~ The Name Game

I was at a friend's home recently, watching previews of upcoming sitcoms and dramatic TV series.

Michael J. Fox has a new show called The Michael J. Fox Show. Michael plays a guy named... Michael. Right before TMJFS on NBC's schedule is a comedy starring Sean Hayes, called Sean Saves the World. Predictably, Sean plays a character named... Sean.

I began a short verbal tirade against the practice, then realized that it would make a great post in the David'Z RantZ category on my blog.

Then I thought a little more. Didn't I already do that, on my old, retired David'Z RantZ blog? Yep. Almost five years ago! And here it is:

I'm sick of actors and actresses -- and don't correct me, I hate it when people refer to an actress as an actor -- who complain that the viewing public can't tell the actor/actress from the character he/she portrays. If they were really that concerned, maybe they'd stop using their real first names as the first names of their characters (usually in sitcoms)?

Lucille Ball was "Lucy" in every damned sitcom she did.

After being "Rob" and "Laura" on The Dick Van Dyke Show, Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore usually played characters named "Dick" and "Mary" respectively.

Sometimes the actors shared their entire name with their character, a device which worked best when the sitcoms delivered a Bizarro version of the actor's real life [The Jack Benny Show, Seinfeld, not so much The Jeff Foxworthy Show... ].

Sometimes I suppose it gave a sense of solidarity between the new show and the comedian's stand-up routine [Roseanne's "Roseanne Conner," as mentioned above, Ray Romano's "Ray Barone," Tim Allen's "Tim Taylor," and... Oh, hell, you come up with some!]

And didja know that Sally was one of the working titles for a sitcom that became Reba... once Reba McEntire was hired for the starring role?)

No big wrap-up there, fellow babies, as it was just an aside in a larger-- okay, longer -- post.

Thanks for your time.

David'Z RantZ ~~ Gesundheit!

Short and sweet this time, fellow babies! (Okay, okay, not so sweet...)

If someone says "Bless you" or "God bless you" after you sneeze, do you thank them? How about if they say "gesundheit," as I do? (I think it's extremely presumptuous to assume that God will bless someone who's a total stranger to me, simply because I asked Him to do so.)

I've found that whenever I say "gesundheit" -- as I did yesterday to a young woman who was sitting right next to me in the library -- people generally don't say "thank you."

Don't they know what it means?

Thanks for your time.