Sunday, June 17, 2018

Hey, Remember My "Short Shorts" and "David'Z RantZ?" So Do I!

It would have been so easy to do a Google image search and find photos of women wearing short
shorts -- I mean, try not to -- but hey, I hate being predictable, and most of my readers are women, so...

*  *  *  *  *

1.  Quite a Production...

Have you noticed that movies have gotten longer and longer during the past few years? Most of 'em used to be somewhere around ninety minutes, or ranging up to about two hours, right? But lately? Two-and-a-half hours, three hours, four hours...! You probably think that's because the plots are getting more and more complicated, or otherwise crowded, but no!

I figured it out. The extra time is being taken up by all those freakin' production companies being credited before the start of films today!

"Such-and-Such Studios, in association with These Guys, and Those Guys, and Dem Guys, and... Oh, who gives a f***?!? Can we please show the movie now?!? We've been looking at production company logos for half a freakin' hour!"

So... That's the real reason. No, it is! Trust me.

*  *  *  *  *

2. Put THAT in Your Pipe and Smoke It!

Speaking of movies, I'm old enough to remember when the MPAA-supplied film ratings told what the rating was, butnot why it was G, PG (which had previously been GP, and had been M before that), R, or X. (Fifty years ago, there were no such ratings as PG-13 and NC-17, by the way.)

Now, of course a film's rating is almost always accompanied by the reason or reasons the film received said rating. And I think that's usually a good idea. There are some parents who think it's bad to show a woman topless, but perfectly okay to show somebody's head getting blown off (in which case the character would truly be "topless," but I digress). Some parents feel the opposite way. Sex is okay, but violence? Not so much.

Modern films' ratings also warn prospective viewers if a movie contains one or more rape scenes. This has been the case since people in general stopped thinking of rape scenes as being nothing more than a form of sex scene, and started thinking of rape as being an act of violence. And in the case of filmed rape depictions, I have a friend who is a survivor of being raped on two separate occasions, and she reacts very strongly and adversely to such scenes.

I must admit that I always smile whenever I'm warned that a film "contains language." Oh, does it? So, what, are you telling me that it's not a silent film?!?

But when it comes to warnings, I think it's a tad overdone when they warn you that the movie you're about to see has one or more scenes of people smoking cigarettes.

Well, gee, this movie is set during World War II, at a time when anyone who wanted to be "hep" or "cool" or "sophisticated" smoked. Men... women... children... dogs... 

I've heard of several instances where films and other media have rewritten history in order to remove any depiction of smoking where it belongs or otherwise occurred. (And if you really want a longer discussion of this subject, go to the blog of writer Ken Levine, and read this post, as well as the comments!)

But my biggest objection to the warning that a film contains scenes of people smoking is that anyone, of any age, can be doing nothing more than walking down a street in their hometown and actually see people smoking. Chances are, during a casual walk, you won't get to see someone's head being blown off (thankfully) or see a topless woman (unfortunately).

Actually, it almost always bothers me when the filmmakers impose modern-day sensibilities on any period piece. It's perfectly fine with me if characters in a movie that's set in 1876 talk about "redskins" who can't handle their "fire water." I do not want to see that same film refer to Native Americans with a substance abuse problem.

*  *  *  *  *

3. Return of the Grammar Nazi!

No, no, no! This illustration alone does not make this a "Comical Wednesday" post!

Just a brief rant about words I'm seeing used interchangeably lately:

"Past" and "passed"

"Who's" and "whose"

"Paid" and "payed"

And last, but far from least: One adult female is a "woman," while two or more adult females, collectively, are "women." I am so f***ing sick of seeing one adult female described as a "women!" I mean, WTF, people!!!

And if you don't know the difference between the two words in any of the above examples, before you use them, LOOK THEM UP!!!

*  *  *  *  *

4. "Lovin It?" Not so much...

I went to the McDonald's drive-through today, and as I sat at the second window watching everybody else's order get lined up, waiting for those cars behind me, the person who'd handed me my iced coffee asked me to pull forward and wait for them to bring out the food portion of my order. Three or four minutes later, a pleasant young lady came out with... the wrong order. It took yet another three or four minutes for them to bring out the right order.

Since then, I've been wracking my brain trying to remember the official name of the little cards McDonald's used to give out to dissatisfied customers. I searched online for a few minutes to establish that they still give them out, but I couldn't locate the technical name, so I gave up.

Little, petty things like that realllly get to me! (As you regular readers have probably noticed by now.)

I actually worked for McDonald's (very briefly) as an assistant manager almost forty years ago. I was paid $200 a week, which was fairly good money, except for the fact that it was a salaried position, and if you looked at the hours I actually worked in the average week, I was probably making something well below that era's minimum wage.

Anyway, back then the management kept a bunch of those cards available. Each of us on the management team carried a few in his wallet at all times. Just in case.

As I said, I don't remember the official name for those cards.

We called them the "We F***ed Up Cards."

Uhhh... I hope you didn't read all that waiting for some hilarious finish. I was just venting.

That's what this whole post is about today, pretty much.

Hence the "David'Z RantZ" designation.

*  *  *  *  *

5. Just Another Definition.

And finally... Don't forget, folks, a "cynic" is where you dump the dirty dishes.

Thanks for your time.


  1. Ugg to movies running on and on and on. Something like the latest Blade Runner could have been cut down by 40 minutes easily. All of those 40 minutes were characters staring. Frigging staring!

    Yep, super dumb when they try to rewrite history and make it all PC and such. And hey, I see topless, and bottomless, rather often actually, although all but one I didn't really enjoy seeing.

    Hmm have I screwed up past and passed in the passed when saying he ran passed someone after he past his exam. What?

    Gotta love McDonalds and their screw ups.

    1. You "see topless, and bottomless, rather often?" Walking down the street? Where is this?

    2. I go on about 15,000 properties every two months. You see and hear a lot.

  2. I think I know why the big blockbuster movies are all running longer these days - they're not meant to be watched in a theater, they're meant to be watched at home via DVD, Blu-Ray, or streaming service, where you can pause for a bathroom break or a snacks run any time you want, and where you won't be bothered by the usual human intrusions like noisy fellow patrons. We may be seeing the demise of the movie theater!

    1. The motion picture industry has always worried about something similar-but-different eroding their audiences. When TV was first catching on, they had to try things like Cinemascope and 3-D Movies. Their screens are still a lot bigger than any TV screen you or your neighbor might have. Some people just like the "night out" aspect of movie-viewing, if they're lucky enough to be able to afford the tickets AND the cost of soda, popcorn, nachos, pretzels, pizza...


  3. Good thing you caught the McD's mistake while you were still there. I've driven off and found I got the wrong order while I'm cruising down the road. Ugh. haha.

  4. I thought the movies were longer because they were filling it with unnecessary crap. haha

    Ha - I always check my order before I drive away.

    I once drove up to a coffee shop window and specifically said 'decaf coffee" They were busy and before leaving, I asked " is this decaf" they said yes. I got to work drank the coffee and was jumpy for hours. I called them and said "you gave me caffeine" and they said "sorry, we will give you your next cup free" wth...there is a reason some might ask for decaf.

    done with my mini rant...haha

    1. I once worked in a grocery store bakery. We were in charge of the coin-operated coffee machine outside of our department. I still remember when we ran out of decaf, and I caught a co-worker pouring regular, caffeinated coffee in the decaf bin!

  5. Ten minutes of logos! "There are some parents who think it's bad to show a woman topless, but perfectly okay to show somebody's head getting blown off." In my book, those parents are idiots, but what do I know. Love that name: the "We Fucked Up Cards." Sorry, I'm allergic to beeps :D One.. women? Oh my. That person would have to spend a week in Blue's Bootcamp. Better make that two.

    1. It seems like certain mistakes suddenly stand out after a whole bunch of people start making the same error.

  6. It seems more men who post dating ads are looking for "a women" than they are "a woman," Silver. It bugs the heck out of me.

    This was an extra fun and informative post. Thank you.
    Be well.

    1. Dating site profiles can contain all sorts of scary errors, as you've often pointed out in your posts.

  7. Your rants could easily be called Lynda's Rants, as we tend to agree on most things ranty. I remember when Warren Beatty's movie "Reds" came out and it was such a huge shocker because it was 3 hours long or some such thing, and people couldn't imagine sitting through a movie of that length. Now that seems to be the standard, and people feel ripped off with any movie under 90 minutes.

    I love the fake movie rating picture! NCC-1701 is my favorite. I do understand the need for trigger warnings, especially in the case of rape scenes and the like, but seriously, cigarette smoking is so commonplace that if they're going to warn about that, they should also warn that people are going to consume alcohol in movies as well. I mean, drug use is drug use, right? It's that ridiculous.

    1. As I said, if you can see countless people doing something in public, why warn someone that they might see it in a freakin' movie?!?

      I love watching old movies, especially silent films or early "talkies" where the film is not much more than an hour.


I strongly urge you to sign up for follow-up comments, because I (usually) reply to your comment! Comments left for me more than three weeks after a post is published will not appear until I approve them, but they will be answered eventually!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...