Thursday, October 22, 2009

Traffic -- A (Hopefully) Different Slant on "Theme Thursday"

Every winter, when "Super Bowl Sunday" arrives, I drive to the home of my good friend John -- probably the only guy I know personally who's even more indifferent to sports than I generally am -- to watch the commercials that premiere that evening. We rarely pay attention to the game itself. "The ad's the thing," as Shakespeare -- or maybe John Madden -- once said.

(Nowadays, I'm told, a lot of people gather for just this reason, as opposed to viewing the game itself. But John and I have been doing it since the early 1990s, if not before!)

Anyway, I have to admit that the 2004 Super Bowl -- designated as Roman numeral MCXXIIIVIIXD*, or some damned thing -- was of slightly greater-than-normal interest because one of the opposing teams was the New England Patriots, and John and I both live in Southern Massachusetts.


It was during that Super Bowl that I was shocked and outraged by one of the most audacious and profane affronts to my sensibilities that I had ever suffered!

That was, of course, the year that Janet Jackson and Justin Timberwolf (or whatever the f**k his name is) performed during the halftime show, and right after Justin uttered the line "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song," he tore off part of Janet's breakaway costume and exposed one of her breasts for a full nine-sixteenths of a second.

What's that? Oh, you thought that was what I referred to when I wrote "one of the most audacious and profane affronts to my sensibilities that I had ever suffered?"

Oh, get real!

No, no, no. By the time that scandalous "wardrobe malfunction" had occurred, John and I had already sat through commercials discussing erectile dysfunction, an ad containing a dog biting a man square in the crotch (and hanging on), and a really objectionable advertisement wherein a horse released an explosive, wet fart in the faces of a pair of young sweethearts.

The incredibly brief flash of what, to me, seemed like a pastie-covered hooter was relatively tame by that point.

So what did I find to be obscene?

During the broadcast, they showed a commercial for -- of all things -- the NFL Network, where the producers of the commercial had dared to use one of my all-time favorite rock'n'roll songs from the early psychedelic era in its soundtrack!

That song was the classic "Dear Mr. Fantasy."

And the version of "Dear Mr. Fantasy" which they used, fellow babies and Theme Thursday fans, was the original version, a version all but sacred to me...

Originally performed by a group called...



And now, without further ado...

Thanks for your time.

P.S. ~~ Among my labels for this post, I've included the phrase "Janet Jackson's boob." The fact that I've mentioned that here oughtta drive some new readers to this blog! Ya think?

P.P.S. ~~ *And please don't bother telling me that "MCXXIIIVIIXD" is not a real Roman numeral. I know that already. It was a freakin' joke!


  1. Well I *LIKED* your freakin' Roman numeral joke. If you get extra followers from it, I might try it myself. ;)

  2. Good gracious, I remember Traffic now you mention it. Should have guessed you would link the theme to that. Happy TT

  3. I have that on my playlist!! Steve Winwood was da man!!!!

    Superbowls are so over hyped, anymore.
    They are really not even fun to watch.

  4. Yes, great twist on traffic. Those Roman number look nice but are always a stump to me, having to do a math problem to figure them out... -Jayne

  5. Well hello there! I am happy to see your comment on my TT this AM. I read and enjoyed your TT. It's funny, the ad world is pretty outrageous and they get away w/ alot. But the a**holes who run the FCC worry about crap like JJ & her well timed titty show. Mind you, I don't like it and I think she should be fined and I really don't like it when they lie and act as tho' it's happenstance. Yeah, like Balloon Boy was happenstance. I'm all for everyone toning it down.

    Stevie Winwood & his old gang seem to be a much favored choice for TT today which tells me alot about how old this little group really is! So happy to hear from you. xo

    P.S. I miss the Cary icons.

  6. hey there silver...nice song...a most unique twist indeed/ i imagine your hits will take a nice bump with the label. lol.

  7. Why does anybody still use Roman Numerals? Don't those idiots realize that only one in 1,000 (and that's being extremely generous) can read the damned things?

    Looks like we're in for a Traffic festival today. Heh, heh! Yeah, I'm guilty, too.

  8. Hah! I thought you were going to say something like "The internet traffic after her nip popped out was insane!"


  9. Busy day today, but hopoefully, today and tonight I'll have more time than II have lately to visit your sites and leave comments.

    Wings: Internet traffic? Good line!

    Otin: Speaking of Stevie, remember this one:

    Roy: I had a feeling you'd head in the same direction I did with the "Traffic" theme!

  10. Oops. "hopoefully, today and tonight I'll have more time than II have lately" was supposed to read "hopefully, today and tonight I'll have more time than I have lately." Or did y'all think that the "II" was supposed to be a Roman numeral "2?"

    I just woke up...

  11. I was wondering how traffic was going to relate to this post. Good one, Mr. Fox! I chuckled at Timberwolf, too.

  12. lol, a unique twist as always,SF. Ty for visiting my blog. And yes, determination should pay off. Missed your input in many ways.

  13. We've always gathered to watch the commercials rather than the Super Bowl game! And we've actually been disappointed in the commercials over the last few years. They used to be really, really, not so much! far as your cape...why yes, I actually have seen it! I was keeping it as a momento! ;)

  14. "Cammie" took my car, you took my cape... I feel naked!

  15. Nice roman numeral joke! Thumbs up!

    Ok so I am a sports guy as you already know, but I do watch the commercials and halftime stuff too and see the attempts at entertaining the non-sports people.

    The travesty isn't the bare 40 year old breast, of course you would agree. It's that every halftime show since has had to be sure to be safe safe safe not to offend anybody that they've carted out Tom Petty, Rolling Stones, Prince, and Bruce, and this year promised to be no one short of a fall away from a wheelchair-placing hip injury, I'm sure (probably Traffic, are they still alive??). No women. No dancers. Nada.

  16. You know that's not a real Roman numeral! ;) sorry...I couldn't help it. I'll send you a photo of Janet's other boob to make it up...

  17. Thanks, VE, but as the old saying goes, "If you've seen one... you've seen them both."

  18. Great take on the theme! I too, watch the commercials but they aren't as good as they used to be but I am glad those darn budweiser frogs are gone.

  19. Errrr....

    They should bring back the Bud Bowl!

  20. Awww travesty indeed. I nearly, nearly went there but they were just a little before my time, only a smidge because I was/am a great Stevie Winwood fan!

  21. Your joke was funny. Happy TT!

  22. The last couple Super Bowls have not impressed me, commercial-wise.

    We like to have side bets on them. "A dollar says the next commercial has a baby in it!" and so forth.

    Nice job with the theme. I hate when my sacred songs are used in commercials. Somebody's got one now that has one of my all time fave New Order songs in it. I think it's a car. It's usually a stupid car.

  23. I just realized that this was a "TT" post, and in it, I write about Janet Jackson showing her... Never mind.

  24. lol,yes nice post indeed!Cool song too.

  25. Well...of course you are COMPLETELY offended to have YOUR song defiled in such a way!!!

    Unique take on TT accomplished!

  26. Now It Can Be Told: Actually, folks, I wanted to do the whole Janet Jackson-related post when it actually happened years ago, when my "David'Z RantZ" blog was on a site called Diaryland (not Blogger). However, I posted so rarely on that site (and you think I'm bad now?), it was "old news" by the time I got around to even thinking about writing it.

    David M. Lynch's oft-quoted First Rule of Writing: "Never throw anything away."


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