"Who Knows What eBay Lurks in the Hearts of Men?"

Okay, fellow babies, here is (probably) the last post I'll be doing related to my dealings on eBay circa 2003-2004. But it's not an old listing of mine. Instead, it's comprised of someone else's eBay auction listing, which I forwarded to a friend only after having added my own comments!

A very quick explanation here... although someday I may do a lengthy piece on this subject. (You've been warned.). I am a very big fan of the various incarnations of The Shadow, a character who had a long run in the pulp magazines of the 1930s & 1940s, and an equally long life as a program during the Golden Days of Radio. In the years since then, he's branched out to comic books, motion picture serials & feature films, comic strips, paperback novels, and -- IIRC -- an ill-fated TV show pilot in the late 1950s!

Yeah. Someday I may do a lengthy piece about The Shadow. Hm.

So anyway, here's the unedited text of the original auction -- which, I stress, was not written by yours truly -- but with my own smartass comments added in green text here and there! And keep in mind this was actually emailed to a friend of mine, so its tone may be a bit more conversational than you might expect.

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I don't have the photo (if there was one) from
the original auction listing, but this is the issue of
The Shadow which the seller had up for sale!

Up for auction I have one pulp fiction Shadow. It is The Keeper's Gold. It is dated October 15, 1937. This is one of numerous pulp fiction books I found that belonged to my grandfather. The condition is ok (I know nothing about this stuff). When I say ok, I mean that the pages are all there, you can read them all, the cover and binding are in tact. (Hmm. I've spoken with tact, but in tact? Whuzzat? Or maybe he meant that the cover & binding are in a tact -- whatever "a tact" might be -- rather than a plastic bag or something similar for protection?) THe cover was in better condition until I accidently ripped it today. (I don't think I would have admitted to having done that. Maybe he should have put it into a plastic bag, instead of in a tact.) It is not ripped in two, but the rip does go about 1/2 way across the bottom half of the cover. Go figure, I will be more careful with the others I list. (I hope so, for his sake. That little rip will cost him approximately $20-40!) Anyway, you could sit back relax and read this without any fear of pages falling out or ripping or anything like that happening. (That's comforting... I wonder if you're protected against tornadoes, floods, and famine, too?) I was stored in an outdoor building (He was? Or do you think he meant "It was stored..."?) so the frays on the corners could be mouse bites. I hate to imagine since mice scare me beyond belief. (Okay, maybe this is a woman...  hope so!)

I took photos of what I thought would be of interest to the buyer, but if you need any additional photos or information drop me and email (I don't know if I'd have the nerve to e-mail him/her after dropping him/her, unless it was to apologize. Seriously, lately I have noticed a lot of people using "and" when they mean "an." And spell-checkers naturally don't catch that error.) and I will be more than happy to provide you with any additional information you may need. I am a novice in this area so I may be way off in what is deemed important in this area. I took the basics, cover, back cover, spine, pages and for this one, the inside front cover so you can see the rip, it is displayed better when looking from behind. (Yeah, I had a girlfriend like that... ) It is hard to detect when the magazine is laying down flat. (Yeah, I had a girlfr... wow, deja vu, man!) 

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No further comments necessary!

Thanks for your time.

The Ghost with the Most! (Yet Another Woeful Tale from eBay)

I guess you'd have to call today's post "part three in a two-part series," or something. It's an afterthought to my last two eBay-related posts.

A few years ago, at about the same time that my eBay ads were occasionally becoming goofy, a true eBay phenomenon occurred. Briefly: A guy with the user name Teajay101 -- Tommy Johnson, as it turned out -- put up a jar for auction, a jar which (he very seriously proclaimed) contained a ghost! In no time, his detailed listing had received thousands of hits. The final bid was for fifty thousand, nine hundred and twenty-two dollars. The winning bidder stiffed Mr. Johnson, however.

Reaction by eBayers was almost immediate. Countless other dealers put up their own spoof versions of the ad. Some were jokes. Some were actual items offered for sale. The folks at eBay were not amused, and they pulled almost all of the ads, legitimate or otherwise. (The original ad by Teajay101 was deemed okay, though.)

(If you're interested in a little more detail, go here. There's even a book about the whole thing!)

Anyway, I was "there" when it happened, and not to be outdone, I too put up an ad. Two of 'em, in fact.

The first -- a short one which I didn't bother to save -- was called "GHOST in a BAR," and as best I can recall, went something like this:

This ghost walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, pal, why the long face?" Get it? Oh, wait, silly me! That was supposed to be "This HORSE walks into a bar..." Makes more sense NOW, huh? Sorry.

As you may expect, eBay yanked that one immediately... not that I cared.

Then I decided to offer something that would still be a joke, but would also be a real item to sell. I entitled it "GHOST IN A JAR... I mean, in a Packet!!!"

And here 'tis...

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Yes, this is a real auction!

Okay, did you ever hear that old saying, "Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you?" Well, the other night, I was doing an eBay search for "Space Ghost" items, and I found -- You guessed it! -- the now-infamous Ghost in a Jar listing.

Curious? Of course. I read the description with more than casual interest, but at that time -- at that time, I stress -- I didn't expect it to impact my life. And I might have lived on, unsuspecting, if I hadn't gone back to that search. That's when I discovered that there were now several listings for ghosts in jars, bottles, and other containers!

If these ghosts were indeed so prolific, could there be one -- or more  -- in my apartment?

It took hours, but I tore my apartment apart, looking for ghosts in every covered container. I looked in jars and bottles. I checked the refrigerator; I checked my DVD and videotape cases; I looked in my lunchbox from the 1994 film, The Shadow; I looked in my vintage glass Alka-Seltzer bottle; I even lifted the lid of the head of my Robot Commando.

I was tired, and frustrated, but I knew there had to be at least one ghost in my apartment. There were, by now, dozens on eBay alone! Who knew how many more existed, that were not being auctioned?

Giving voice to that selfsame frustration, I screamed aloud, "Darn you, ghost, where the heck are you?!?" (Actually, "darn" and "heck" weren't the exact words I used... but I digress.)

A tiny voice nearby squeaked out, "Not here!"

I am not easily fooled, trust me! "Not here," indeed! I made my way to a small collection of sealed objects. Specifically, seven packets of Equal sweetener, a well-known sugar substitute. Sealed packets.... Hmm.

I examined them all carefully. All seven appeared to contain powdered sweetener, but I knew that only six held Equal, and one held ectoplasmic residue! I'm about 99% sure I've identified the right one...

And that's the one I've scanned and put up for auction. Why, you may wonder, do I want to get rid of a ghost which wasn't even bothering me in the first place? Well, I've always been one of those people who goes out of his way to avoid looking "fannish" -- I refused to see "Jaws" and "Star Wars" in the theatres when they were initially released, for example -- and since it's obvious that almost everyone else has his or her own "Ghost in a Jar" (or "in a Whatever"), I don't want one.

By the way, as stated above, I'm only 99% sure the packet I'm selling has the ghost in it, so if you buy it, and open it, and get nothing but artificial sweetener for your trouble... Sorry, no refunds!!!

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Of course, the humorless schlubs at eBay yanked that one, too. *sigh*

My next post will be the fourth and (probably) final entry in this... errr... two-part series.

Thanks for your time.

My "Fans" on eBay, Part Two

As mentioned in my last post, I haven't put anything up for sale on eBay for at least a couple of years. Having said that... There was a time when I had a lot of fun with it. Most of my item descriptions were pretty straightforward, but once in a while, especially around 2003 (for no particular reason), I got a little loopy... and something along the lines of what you generally find here on my blog ensued!

The item description reprinted in my previous post received what I can only refer to as "fan letters." So did this, the second one... but I unfortunately don't have any of those emails to share with you. 

So I'll say this now: Thanks for your time!

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1950s HARTZ MOUNTAIN Pet Catalog MUST SEE!!!!

Now, here's an interesting little item. It's called Hartz Mountain® Pet Care, and as the title not-so-subtly implies, it's a pet care booklet...

No, it's a product catalog...

No, it's a pet care booklet!

No, it's a product catalog!

It's a candy mint! It's a breath mint!

It's a floor wax! It's a dessert topping!

*Ahem!*

Sorry...

Actually, it is a Hartz Mountain® product catalog, disguised as a pet care booklet. It purports to tell you "What you should know about canaries, parakeets, dogs, cats, goldfish, tropical fish, turtles..." and then serves as a 32-page (from front cover to back cover), profusely-illustrated shill for (I assume) every contemporary product in the then-mostly-bird-related Hartz Mountain® line! In other words, "what you should know" about your pet is that without Hartz Mountain® products being an omnipresent influence in its life, your silly ol' pet will soon be -- or is better off -- dead!

In addition to food, toys, living quarters, etc., almost any ailment and preventive treatment (and a grooming product or two or three or four... which border on cosmetic surgery!) is effectively handled by our friends at Hartz Mountain® as well. This little (4 3/4" X 6 3/4") book is just too good to believe. And, as you can see by the scans, it is simply full of nifty illustrations (and of course, 100% of them are actual Hartz Mountain® products!)

Speaking of the scans: The booklet is in fairly nice shape for something approximately 50 years old (I received it in a collection of pet books ranging from 1954-1957, so even 'though it's not dated, I'm assuming this catalog is about the same age). The only really noticeable flaw is that, on the front cover, someone traced the inside of the "a" in "Hartz"® in pencil (see first scan, if you have really good eyes). There are no full-color illustrations, but as you can see (once again) by the scans, the entire book is done up in black & white, and Hartz Mountain's® bet-they-woulda-trademarked-it-if-they-coulda orange!

But wait, there's more!

Do you want to teach your parakeet to talk, but don't have the time to do it yourself? The wonderful folks at Hartz Mountain® will sell you a record (78 rpm or 45 rpm) that'll do it for you! And, on a similar note (pardon the pun), if your canary doesn't sing, Hartz Mountain® has another record to sell you, featuring the Hartz Mountain® Orchestra, and their own canaries, as featured on the then-popular (?) coast-to-coast Hartz Mountain® Radio Programs!

Folks, I'm not making this stuff up!

Disclaimer: "An excellent tonic, if your cat is a bit under the weather -- it's a good idea to give him a Hartz Mountain® Catnip Mouse every once in a while." The preceding quote is from the description for Hartz Mountain® Catnip Mice. However, the seller of this eBay auction in no way endorses the supposedly-therapeutic effects of catnip or other kitty stimulants, and furthermore does not advocate substance abuse among felines, canines, porcupines, Gregory Hines, power lines, clinging vines, land mines, venetian blinds, melon rinds, street signs, or anything else, for that matter!!!

(Sorry, folks, it's after 5 A.M. as I write this, and... well... you know...)

My "Fans" on eBay, Part One (Updated)

Although I haven't put anything up for sale on eBay for at least a couple of years, there was a time when I had a lot of fun with it. Most of my item descriptions were pretty straightforward, but once in a while, especially around 2003 (for no particular reason), I got a little loopy... and something along the lines of what you generally find here on my blog ensued!

Believe it or not, two of my more off-beat listings received what I can only refer to as "fan letters." Here's one of those listings. My next post will feature a second example.

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1930s MOVIE STAR SCRAPBOOK Famous & Obscure

This is an incredible collection! Forty-seven pages of clippings, comprising at least seven years of Hollywood history (1931-1937 inclusive, from all indications)! Someone lovingly glued all this stuff on lined paper, then just-as-lovingly placed them in a 2-ring binder. They even took the time to use glued reinforcement stickers on all the little punch-holes! On both sides of the paper, even! Serious project, this!

There are some incredible full-page shots of Maureen O'Sullivan, Fredric March, Lillian Bond, an overwhelmingly sultry-looking Myrna Loy, Gilbert Roland, Robert Montgomery, Marion Marsh (see scan), Anita Page, an even younger Robert Montgomery, John Barrymore as "Svengali" in, well, "Svengali," Lupe Velez, Nazimova, June MacCloy, Loretta Young & Spencer Tracy in "A Man's Castle," John Boles, Norma Shearer, Marion Marsh, Pola Negri, Miriam Hopkins, and your favorite & mine, Alexander Kirkland (see third scan)! "Alexander Kirkland?" Uhhh, yeah, Alexander Kirkland. I never heard of him before I started going through this scrapbook, but he gets a whole darned page to himself. Who'da thunk it?

Oh, yeah, almost forgot: There's one more full-page photo. It's an absolutely gorgeous shot of Jean Harlow aping "Venus de Milo." (Sorry, I won't scan that one fer ya. Bid, baby, bid!) Ummm... okay... I didn't actually forget it... I was gonna scarf it for myself... Heck, you never would have known! But I didn't... because I'm honest... because I'm fair-minded... because I'm stupid...

[By the way, fellow babies, I'm gonna share something with you that the eBayers never got to see! Here's the scan of the Jean Harlow shot. I sold the scrapbook, but scanned Ms. Harlow -- and bled out the color to "reverse" the aged look of the scrapbook page -- for myself before I did so!]

 

So, what else? Some pages has... Oops, I mean, some pages have... (Starting to sound like Leo Gorcey, here!) gorgeous two-shots of such luminaries as Garbo, Bebe Daniels, and Vilma Banky. And admit it, you've always wanted to own a scrapbook with an entire page dedicated to Vilma Banky, haven't you? Come on now, 'fess up. Haven't you?

Rounding out the issue are one or more shots of the following (Deep breath, here): Toby Wing, Shirley Temple, Alice Faye, Rochelle Hudson (*sigh*), Billie Dove, Baby LeRoy, Johnnie Weissmuller, Dorothy Mackaill, Joan Blondell, Marion Davies, Leila Hyams, Peggy Shannon, Bette Davis (in a swimsuit, believe it or not!), Lilyan Tashman, Marlene Dietrich, Ben Lyon, Constance Cummings, Arline Judge, Jack Oakie, Douglas Fairbanks (Senior) & Mary Pickford, Helen Twelvetrees, a stunningly exotic-looking Claudette Colbert (see photo above, lower right -- but don't get your hopes up, guys, or haven't you heard...?), Dorothy Lee, Warner Baxter, Janet Gaynor, Jeanette MacDonald, George Brent, Ruth Chatterton, Ricardo Cortez, Hugh Herbert, Dickie Moore, Ann Harding, Dolores Del Rio, Joan Bennett, Mary Astor, Bert Wheeler, Jack Mulhall,Gary Cooper, Max Baer, Walter Huston, Sally Eilers, Flora Robson, Victor Jory, Mae West, Cary Grant, Jack La Rue, Ida Lupino, Virginia Cherrill, Jackie Cooper & his brother Bobby Cooper, Mae Clarke, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Alice White, Marion Shilling, Kaye Francis, Lyle Talbot, Rose Hobart, Constance Bennettt, Carole Lombard, Natalie Talmadge, Mary Brian, Kathleen Key, Betty Furness, Marjorie Rambeau, sultry Mary Duncan (I never heard of her before, and I am so sorry for that!), Tallulah Bankhead, Lee Tracy... *yawn*... Oh, darn, I really wanted to name everybody (Can't you tell?), but I'm beat! I'm about a dozen short of the whole list. Anybody else worth mentioning? Oh, yeah. Clark Gable.

Seriously, I wonder why people like Clark Gable, Fred Astaire, and Gary Cooper get one crummy little still here or there, while Alexander Kirkland gets a full page?!? What is up with that?!?

By the way, anybody who is really interested in Alexander Kirkland and his films should click here. (I tend to research things once my interest is aroused!) I know I learned a couple of interesting facts! Kirkland's third wife was Gypsy Rose Lee, but the child born during that marriage was actually fathered by director Otto Preminger!

And hey, kids, see that scan with the shadowed profile hovering expectantly over Anita Page? Guess who that is! "Valentino?" No, he was already dead. "John Barrymore?" Nope, wrong again. "William Powell?" Wrong again! "Rod La Rocque?" Nope, he didn't play "The Shadow" for a couple more years! Give up? It's Buster Keaton!

(Now, how'd I arrive at the page count? Well, the front cover of the binder has the cover from an old issue of Movie Classic glued to it. This cover features a Marland Stone painting of Ruby Keeler and a rather effeminate-looking Dick Powell (see scan). So I counted it. The back cover sports a 1937 Modern Screen cover (It's not dated, but I happen to own a copy of the original... ) featuring an Earl Christy painting of Olivia de Havilland... ummm... enjoying a peppermint stick (see scan... Lord, things seemed so much more innocent, then...). So I counted that. The inside front cover sports a large color photo of Anna Sten, and the inside back cover lists the addresses of  dozens of movie stars, whether said stars worked for major studios (Paramount, MGM, Universal, etc.) or were "free-lance players," like Harold Lloyd, Ralph Bellamy, Neil Hamilton (and this was years before the Batman TV show!), etc. So I counted both of those. Finally, the binder holds 22 pages of loose-leaf notebook paper, and all but one side has something on it!)

Last Chance!

Hmm. I ran this sucker for seven days with an opening bid of $24.99, and nobody bid. (Wahhh.) So this is it, folks: This time I'll run it as a five day auction with an opening bid of $14.99. If it doesn't sell this time, I'll grab the Jean Harlow page mentioned above for my own collection and burn the rest. No joke. 

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Well, fellow babies, as mentioned in my brief aside above, I didn't have to burn the thing. It sold for about $30, if I recall correctly.

I received a few emails from fellow eBayers, as I mentioned. Here are quotes from two of them:

~~"I don't have a question. I just want to compliment you on your auction. I thoroughly enjoyed reading through it. Your comments about Alexander Kirkland cracked me up! It's not often that I get to read something so enjoyable. Thanks and I hope you do well on this auction."

~~"Hmmm, it's spectacularly detailed, grammatically correct, and there's that delightful hint of being off color without possibly offending the severely conservative. Even more disturbing than that rather suggestive peppermint stick illustration (someone passed their casting couch audition with flying colors!), is that the name Alexander Kirkland was ringing a dim bell. I plead guilty to reading the autobiographies of Eric Lee Preminger and Gypsy Rose Lee. It's nice to meet you. I'll keep an eye out for your future auctions."

Today's post was for Subby... kinda. Part Two will be for Betsy... again, kinda.

 Thanks for your time.

No Rant TODAY!

I don't know about you, but I'm in a pretty good mood this morning (for a change).

Nearly ten years ago, we said "Never Forget." And we didn't.

This is not just a victory for President Obama, or for former President Bush, or even for the USA. (And let's not try to take credit from anyone, okay? Let's give credit to all!) This is a victory for the entire planet.

To quote the Council on American-Islamic Relations, “As we have stated repeatedly since the 9/11 terror attacks, Bin Laden never represented Muslims or Islam... In fact, in addition to the killing of thousands of Americans, he and Al Qaeda caused the deaths of countless Muslims worldwide.”

I have dear friends who are Muslims. Equating those of Bin Laden's ilk with them is like equating me with Hitler, because he was, and I am, white Christian males. Just sayin'.

Adios, Osama. You will not be missed. Not by me, anyway... or any rational human.

Thanks for your time.

David'Z RantZ ~~ Oh, Puh-LEEZE! (STILL Not the One You've Been Waiting For!)

Here I was, blissfully thinking that Donald Trump was the number one candidate -- please pardon the expression -- for the title of "Idiot of the Week" -- month? millennium? -- but someone had to prove me wrong!

In case you haven't read this (yet) elsewhere... According to the new Journal of Animal Ethics, which is the result of a US/UK "academic partnership," terms like -- and take a deep breath, here -- "pet," "critter," "beast," "wildlife," "pests," "vermin," and "owner" (the latter referring to us humans, of course) should be discarded, because they're insulting, demeaning, insensitive, derogatory, etc. (Here is only one brief article elaborating on this editorial, and here's a press release.)

Some quotes (in italics) or points from the editorial:

Our existing language about animals is the language of past thought – and the crucial point is that the past is littered with derogatory terminology: “brutes”, “beasts”, “bestial”, “critters”, “sub-humans”, and the like.

We shall not be able to think clearly unless we discipline ourselves to use less than partial adjectives in our exploration of animals and our moral relations with them.

They suggest that what we now call "pets" should hereafter be referred to as “companion animals.” "Owners" should be called “human carers” instead.

Despite its prevalence, “pets” is surely a derogatory term both of the animals concerned and their human carers. Again the word “owners”, whilst technically correct in law, harks back to a previous age when animals were regarded as just that: property, machines or things to use without moral constraint.

In addition, we invite authors to use the words “free-living”, “free-ranging” or “free-roaming” rather than “wild animals”… For most, “wildness” is synonymous with uncivilized, unrestrained, barbarous existence. There is an obvious prejudgment here that should be avoided.

They also suggest retiring phrases like “sly as a fox, “eat like a pig,” and “drunk as a skunk.” These are all "unfair" to animals!

*sigh* Where, oh where, do I begin...?

Frankly, my first reaction to reading about this editorial was that it was a load of bullsh--

(Oh, wait, I should probably re-phrase that thought, so as not to offend any that are of the... errr... Bovine-American persuasion!)

My first reaction to reading about this editorial was that it was a load of ca-ca... regardless of the species from which said "ca-ca" originated, of course.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love animals. Generally, I like 'em better than people... not that I'm a big fan of humans anyway, as you regular readers may have surmised. Having said that...

Come on.

So, we can't call 'em "pets" any more? Damn. I suppose this means that the Petco chain will soon be going the route of the Sambo's restaurant franchise...

As far as the "ownership" thing, the whole concept of property is admittedly vague, as it concerns a living thing. My cat, Orson, is... well... my cat. I do own him. (Well, as much as anyone can own a cat. They kinda own us, wouldn't you agree?) But referring to a desk, a parakeet, or even a spouse as "yours" doesn't automatically place that thing or person in an inferior position to yourself, does it? (Then again, I don't know your spouse... But I digress.)

And "wild" is a bad word, they claim, because it implies that our friends in the animal kingdom are -- horrors! -- uncivilized? Can't have that. On the other hand, how civilized would you think I was if I were to urinate on a tree and/or crap on your lawn, then stand outside your door screaming gibberish until you let me in, and then ran in (naked, of course), demanding to be fed from my own dish as well as anyone else's whose food I could steal, then slept on your clean laundry, or kitchen counter-top, or anywhere else I could get away with sleeping, and then...

Oh, you get the point? Good. Just be glad I didn't mention licking myself, nuzzling your crotch (or a guest's), or humping your leg!

(Yeah. Just be glad I didn't mention all of that!)

And of course, we want to purge our daily discourse of all those horribly negative animal stereotypes. "Drunk as a skunk?" Yep, every time I hear that, I certainly think it's accurate, and that all skunks are lushes... and as a result, I judge the little stinkers accordingly. Well, don't you?

On the other hand, for some strange reason I kinda like the term "sly as a fox." Go figure.

Insensitivity toward any living creature is a terrible thing, of course... but there's also an uncomfortable point where we can become too damned sensitive. And that refers to our attitudes about people and pets alike, I daresay.

Hm. When will one of my readers attack me for referring to you all as "fellow babies?" (Ah, to hell with it. I'll just blame Dr. Johnny Fever.)

Actually, I first heard the term "companion animal" over fifteen years ago! It was probably originated by someone at PETA, a well-meaning group which tends to take things much too far at times. (Anyone remember their "sea kittens" campaign?) At the time, my fiancée -- Number Two in a series, collect 'em all! -- owned a cat named Max. My reaction was "Oh, great. Do I have to start referring to Max as a Feline-American companion animal?"

Only a few weeks later, on the then-new TV show Politically Incorrect, Bill Maher jokingly referred to his dog as a "Canine-American." I should have sued. But, once again, I digress.

Anyway, if you really want me to start thinking of a dog, an iguana, or a freakin' goldfish as my personal equal and/or roommate, I say: Let the lazy little "companion animal" go out, get a freakin' job, and start helping with the rent.

But that's just me. I'm  a different kind of cat.

Oops. I'd better retire that expression, too, I guess!

I tried to be fair when I wrote this post. I really did! In fact, I even asked my cat Orson what he thought of the whole controversy. Not so surprisingly, he didn't even dignify the issue with an answer! Of course, if he had said anything, I suspect it would have been somewhere along the lines of "Who cares? Feed me."

In closing, here's an aside to those of you who are still holding on to your Pet Rock from the 1970s: Henceforth, you will be required to refer to this nostalgic keepsake as your "companion mineral." Just sayin'.

Thanks for your time... companion babies.

Bird, Incognito (A "Twitter for Gentlefolk" Post)

(Note for readers of my next post: Now this kind of "p.c.," I like!)

Continuing the relatively new "Twitter for Gentlefolk" tradition recently announced by that troublemaker fine fellow Alan Burnett of News from Nowhere fame, my friend Betsy (author of the My Five Men blog) and myself decided to do a "postcard swap." And rather than choosing an appropriate card for me, Betsy decided to create one. The outstanding result is shown above, and the "text side" follows:

In case you can't read that, it says:

Hi, Silver!

Since you love all things masks, capes, and superheros, I thought I'd sketch you a superhero-looking bird! This is a Cedar Waxwing. They love to eat my crabapples! Their name comes from the red waxy drips that form on the tips of their wing feathers. [Looks more like blood to The Silver Fox's eyes, but that's just me, I'm a different kinda cat!] Pretty cool, huh? Although to Orson, I'm sure he just looks like dinner! [For those of you who don't really pay attention when you read my blog, Orson is my cat!]

Betsy

Once a week, Betsy treats her readers to a new sketch or other creative work on her blog. More commenters than I can count have suggested to her that she utilize her underrated (by Betsy herself, that is) talents to illustrate greeting cards, children's books, or something similar.

Well, Betsy, The Silver Fox hereby issues a very public challenge: I'll write a children's book, if you'll illustrate it. It should be a lot less intimidating than your trying to write that proposed autobiography people keep nagging urging you to do, right?

After all, it's not like Skip Simpson has me signed to an exclusive collaborative writing contract, ya know?

(Can't wait for the private email about the above!)

Thanks for your time.