David'Z RantZ ~~ Meme THIS. (or, "The Meme to End All Memes")

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "The term Internet meme (pronounced /ˈmiːm/, rhyming with "cream") is used to describe a concept that spreads via the Internet." (Trust me, cuz I'm not gonna link to the bastard!)

Hey, if I may digress for a bit first -- as if you could stop me, huh? -- I have two questions for ya, fellow babies:

1. Why the hell does Wikipedia write "From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia" at the beginning of all their topics? If you're too freakin' stupid to know you're on the Wikipedia site, even with that logo of theirs that looks like a three-dimensional, golf-ball-shaped puzzle staring you in the fizz, you probably won't be literate enough to read their "From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia" statement anyway... not to mention the rest of the flippin' article! And as I once said in one of my old David'Z RantZ posts, "Now, it's one thing if a radio or TV announcer tells you who he or she is... For example, "This is Don Wilson saying..." But going to Wikipedia and being told by Wikipedia that you're reading something from Wiki-freakin'-pedia is like visiting me at my home, and listening to me beginning every single sentence with "This is David, saying..." as I look you in the eye!" (The full, funny as all get-out diatribe is here, if you're so inclined!)

If, as some have suggested, they do it so nobody will take the easy way out and just steal sections from their articles (which people do anyway, as a thorough search on virtually any topic will show ya), do they really think that a dedicated, crafty, unscrupulous user of copy-and-paste won't try to avoid being nabbed simply by not highlighting the "From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia" part?

2. Can anybody really figure out how to pronounce a word by using Wikipedia's effed-up pronunciation key?

Okay. Back to my real topic.

Memes.

This is a word which has multiple applications. (So does the word "application" nowadays, but don't get me started on that...!)

Some bloggers use "meme" to describe those persistent internet variations-on-a-chain-letter that go something like this: "First, list seven times in your life when you've been forced to scratch an embarrassing itch in public. Then, link to seven other bloggers whom you've never actually met in the real world but are your dearest friends anyway (or were up until today, that is) and make them do the same damned thing. (If they refuse, you have our permission to T.P. their house.) In approximately three weeks, every blog on the internet will have done this, at which point 1. a magic elf who looks depressingly like Charlie Sheen will show up on your computer monitor, 2. that nameless eight-year-old orphan in Utah will be perpetually kept on life support, and 3. Bill Gates will send you a f***ing dollar. Or something."

Other bloggers use "meme" to describe those things some of us do on certain days, like Theme Thursday or Sepia Saturday. (And yes, I know I do Sepia Saturday posts also, but it's mainly because I have such a great & colorful effin' family that I wanna cram them all down your throats!)

There's a drawback to that -- a couple, actually -- and so I'll use a made-up scenario to showcase it. Or them. Or some damned thing.

Our fictional blogger -- we'll call him, oh, The Silver Fox -- sits down on Saturday to plan his blog posts for the week...

"Hm. Tomorrow, I'll do a SUNday SUNshine post, where I have to draw a picture illustrating one terrific thing that happened to me this past week. Let's see. My wife left me. I got a pay cut at work. My girlfriend left me. My lab results were HIV-positive. My dog left me. My girlfriend moved in with my wife, and they adopted my dog. WTF?!?

"Monday means my Maniac Monday post is due. I have to list seven times I've had restraining orders issued against me. And -- crap! -- I can only think of six...!

"Tuesday is Teutonic Tuesday, of course. I have to write about a fugitive Nazi war criminal whom I knew personally. Wonder if my son's guidance counselor is old enough?

"Wimp Wednesday is next, of course. This week, I have to write a story about someone I beat up when I was in third grade. Unfortunately, I was such a candy-ass... Does my younger sister count?

"Thursday's Thor's Day follows that. Wish my kid brother hadn't stolen all my old comic books! Guess I'm off to Wikipedia to copy and paste research that one!

"Oh, my favorite! Phlegm Phriday! I'll write about the time I coughed up a phlegm-ball that looked like J. Edgar Hoover! Now that I think of it, all phlegm-balls look like J. Edgar Hoover...

"Hm. What's this week's theme for Saturday Sucks? Ahh, the hell with it. Who gives a crap? I'll just recycle my SUNday SUNshine post! Who's gonna notice after six days of this drek?"

Ah, poor Silver Fox! For at the end of the week, he wonders, "Hey! When do I get a chance to write about a subject that I wanna write about?"

And that's not even the worst of it! Oh, no! One of the "rules" for this kind of meme is that you, as a participant, have to quit your job (or at least call in sick for the day) and read the posts from the other 47 players, and leave comments on 'em! Even on the posts of those who are way smarter than you are -- you sheep, you! -- and never return the favor.

So, anyway, my solution is to the whole "meme" thing is...

Oh, my, look at the time!

And look at the length of this post.

Hm.

Oh, well... I guess I'll have to finish this in Part Two.

I'll post that one tomorrow!

(Maybe.)

Thanks for your time.