David'Z RantZ: Careful What You Ask For, Silver Fox...

Hold it! Hold it! Don't read this entry until you've read my previous post ("previous" meaning, like, only 90 minutes earlier, fellow babies)!

Part One:

One hour (almost to the minute!) after I posted my previous column here -- scroll down to read it -- I was told that actress Gale Storm (My Little Margie) had died at the age of 87!

Stop dying, celebrities!!!

I mean... Sheesh! This sure is a lousy time to be an actress, musician, announcer, or alleged pedophile, innit?

Part Two:

Two of the recent celebrity deaths have uncomfortable similarities. I mean, I'm not a big fan of conspiracy theories, but come on, now!

Here's the evidence, fellow babies:

Billy Mays:
1. Died at home.
2. Was 50 years old.
3. Was a white man with an unnaturally -- i.e., dyed -- black beard.

Michael Jackson:
1. Died at home.
2. Was 50 years old.
3. Was a black man with an unnaturally white skin.

Coincidence? I think not!

Thanks for your time.