Cross Talk (A David'Z RantZ Post from 3/2/08)

Sometimes I'm walking, and sometimes I'm driving. Of course, many times, I'm merely walking to or from my car, which strikes me as being the best of both worlds. But having been on both sides of that particular fence, I must say that there is one realization I came to long ago: Pedestrians are, for the most part, an arrogant bunch of S.O.B.s. Or hadn't you noticed?

And any stunt they pull that irks one or more drivers is usually justified with "Well, people have been around longer than cars, you know," like that's supposed to excuse their stupidity somehow. That's almost like if you give me your newborn baby to hold, and I drop it, and follow up by saying, "Oh, well, I can remember before you even had the little diaper-dumper!"

Look, folks, no one alive today is old enough to remember before there were automobiles, so in everyone's mind, cars have "always" been around, just like people. Which blows that "people have been around longer" argument out of the water quite nicely, I think.

My state, Massachusetts, has a law that says that drivers must stop if a pedestrian is in a crosswalk, attempting to cross the street. I assume most other states have this law, and most other countries as well... at least those countries that have enough people and automobiles so that this is even an issue.

However, what about those bothersome little pukes that are not in the crosswalk, but are attempting to cross anyway, and pretty much demanding that drivers stop for them, too? I think there should be some kind of "equal time" provision in the law which says that if the pedestrian is not in the crosswalk, the driver is allowed... no, make that required by law... to drive right into that self-important little rectum-head! Not enough to seriously injure, kill, or even maim, I should point out. Even I'm not that vicious... usually... But rather, just enough of a jolt to shake that sucker up a bit, and knock him or her about ten to twelve feet forward. Hell, that'll probably place him smack dab in the middle of the crosswalk he was too lazy to walk over to in the first place.

(And by the way, "Mr. Walker," who the hell do you think you are, raising your hand to stop me as you defiantly walk in front of my vehicle? If my car's brakes can't -- or won't -- stop me, do you really think that waving your pudgy little palm is capable of doing it?)

Okay, okay, maybe I'm going a bit overboard with the vehemence this time around, but perhaps that's the real reason they call it a crosswalk. Ya think?

Thanks for your time.