There's No Need to Fear! (A David'Z RantZ & Comical Wednesday Post from 3/13/08)

Hey, does anyone besides myself remember the old Dennis Miller line about the
Underdog balloon "hump[ing] the Kremlin into submission?" No? Didn't think so...

The "Underdog" theme song. Arguably one of the greatest cartoon themes ever. One of my five personal favorites, along with the "Jonny Quest" theme, the "Top Cat" theme, the theme from "The Mighty Hercules," and that catchy Vince Guaraldi piano composition played in countless "Peanuts" specials (which is officially titled "Linus & Lucy").

I'm sure you recall the "Underdog" theme, if you ever saw the show:

When criminals in this world appear
And break the laws that they should fear
And frighten all who see or hear
The cry goes up both far and near
For Underdog! (Underdog!) Underdog! (Underdog!)
Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
Fighting all who rob or plunder
Underdog. Underdog!

Classic, huh? Of course, you also probably know the second verse, usually heard during the ending credits:

When in this world the headlines read
Of those whose hearts are filled with greed
Who rob and steal from those who need
To right this wrong with blinding speed
Goes Underdog! (Underdog!) Underdog! (Underdog!)
Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
Fighting all who rob or plunder
Underdog. Underdog!

Yup. Classic, indeed. But I remembered hearing a third verse, seldom used, but occasionally played during those ending credits. I could recall nothing about the actual lyrics, however, just that another verse existed. So I did an internet search, and quickly found this:

And when our woeful monologue
Is how by evil we've been flogged
Then breaking through the clouds and fog
Not plane, nor bird, nor even frog
Comes Underdog! (Underdog!) Underdog! (Underdog!)
Now unleash the Dog of Wonder
Tearing evil's bonds asunder
Underdog. Underdog!

As I've said before, ya gotta love the internet! Now I finally knew all the verses, after about forty years!

All of them, do you hear?!? All... of...

Oh, s**t.

Another freakin' verse popped up. Could it be true?

When Polly Purebread starts to fall
From buildings 20 stories tall
She knows the hero she can call

His ears prick up when Polly hollers

Underdog! (Underdog!) Underdog! (Underdog!)

There's no need to fear or quaver

Underdog is here to save her

Underdog. Underdog!

Are/were there really four verses? And are there more? Is someone writing them to this day, leaking them to those of us who are still... ummm... panting... for more?

I mean, geez, how many verses did this son of a bitch have?

Hey. Hey! Calm down, you! I did not just profane the name of a cherished cartoon icon! He's a male dog, right? So he really is the "son" of a "bitch." I was just being literal.

So. Bark... I mean, back... off.

Thanks for your time.