Thursday, May 21, 2009

Vacation -- A "Theme Thursday" Post (REVISED)

A relatively short'n'goofy one this week. So it goes.

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Five Celebrities Tell "What I Did On My Summer Vacation."


Clint Eastwood, age twelve (1942):

I went to summer camp this summer. I am ashamed to say that I wanted to get out of some of my daily chores, and I bullied one of the younger kids to help me. I didn't hurt him or nothing. I just pointed a loaded slingshot at him and said "I know what you're thinking — 'Can he hit me with that thing at this range?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I'm kinda unsure myself. But, being this is a slingshot, the most powerful weapon in this camp and would put your eye out, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" He was scared, and said no. So I took him to my tent, brought him over to my bunk, and said, "Go ahead... Make my bed."

Steve Winwood, age seven (1955):

I had lots of fun this summer!

My family went camping. I couldn't get to sleep because there were frogs croaking in a nearby pond, and mosquitoes buzzing around me, and crickets chirping and owls hooting and stuff like that. I finally got so frustrated I sat up and yelled "Shut up!" My older brother Muff started laughing and said, "Stevie, that's the first time I ever heard of anybody talking back to the night!"

My brother Muff was there for me when I got a crush on a girl named Valerie who ended up not liking me back. He told me I should just roll with it.

Then there was the day I was swimming in our pool. Muff and some friends had formed a band and were playing in the backyard. I've always wanted to be a singer, so I asked a buddy who was in the pool with me if I should get out of the pool and try to sing with the older kids. He said "While you see a chance, take it," and I got out of the pool and ran to the microphone. Luckily, my dad yelled at me not to touch it (the mike, I mean) because I was all wet, and would get shocked. He was screaming, "Don't you know what the mike can do?"

Elvis Costello, age nine (1963):

I didn't do too good in school last year, and had to go to summer school. At first I was mad because I couldn't play with the other kids until the afternoon, but I decided to look on the bright side and write a song about it because that's what I want to do when I grow up. My song went like this: "Every day, every day, every day, every day I ride the bus..."

James Bond -- the character, not any actor who's ever portrayed him! -- age nine (year unknown, date of birth listed variously as 1913, 1920, 1925, etc.):

I spent my summer vacation avoiding all the icky bleached-blonde girls who were throwing themselves at me. I HATE girls! And every one I meet always has a stupid name, too! I can't wait until I'm old enough to get my licence. Then I can buy a souped-up sportscar of some kind and get away from them even faster!

Blondes! DUMB blondes!

Tom Petty, age five (1956):


I learnd to swim this sumer and wuz prity good at it. In fact I liked the swimming part better than walking into the
oshin
ocean itself because the waste-deep waist-deep wayves almost knocked me over.

The wading is the hardest part.

* * * * *

Ummm...yeah. Thanks for your time.

25 comments:

  1. SF: This is sooo funny. Wading was the hardest part...for this post. Loved, "Go ahead...Make my bed." Enjoyed this very much.

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  2. lol. you are amazing fox. funny.

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  3. Funny!

    Every day I ride the bus. I guess he did a rewrite later.

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  4. Da...er Silver Fox, this is the funniest, ever! Very cool how you worked it all in. And the Tom Petty bit( still laughing )...

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  5. Heh-heh. "Go ahead...make my bed." I love that!!!

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  6. Very clever! I loved the "Go ahead, make my bed." I love Eastwood - especially early Eastwood.
    They were all brilliant.

    Kat

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  7. Ha ha funniest TT I've read so far! Thank you, it was great!

    xoxo

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  8. So good! So clever! Thanks for sharing that, I loved it. :)

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  9. Yikes! I think my landlady downstairs heard the groan I let out at "The wading is the hardest part"! Heh, heh!

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  10. hi,so cool what you've done with the theme!Have a nice day :)

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  11. Elvis & Steve!2 Heroes of mine!Interesting Stuff.Rock N Roll Vacations!!!!

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  12. "Go ahead...make my bed" was my favourite part, too. You are a funny fox.

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  13. Wow. I got a late start, so I am STILL slogging through today's TT posts... most of them pretty impressive!

    Glad you enjoyed this collection of goofiness from the last 20+ years.

    The Eastwood thing was a bit that occurred to me when he was still filming the Dirty Harry flicks. "Harry Callahan at age eight: 'Go ahead, Mom, make my bed.'" I heard the same line on (IIRC) a radio station a couple of years later!

    The Elvis Costello and Tom Petty lines occurred to me on the same day. And if I do say so myself, the Elvis line's a lot funnier if I sing it for you like he would have as a youngster!

    The Winwood bit is a vastly re-worked version of a stream-of-consciousness monologue of mine about how Stevie Winwood, my "close friend," kept ticking me off by stealing things from our conversations and turning them into song or album titles!

    Glad y'all like the piece. I thought I was just skating through today!

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  14. I would enjoy a young James Bond too...

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  15. Tom Petty didn't drown ? He "Got lucky".

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  16. True, true. Nevertheless, the beach's lifeguard (a Korean refugee who'd been in the USA only three or four years in 1956) still told little Tommy, "Don't come around here no more!" Sad.

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  17. HAHA! Very creative, I loved that!

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  18. Make my bed...very funny! You are one clever fox.

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  19. Kris (and everybody else who's been following the comments): I deleted my two James Bond comments and revised the original post by adding a new "James Bond" section.

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  20. silver--laughing my way to tomorrow--you have hit on something here and I think you need to take it on the road---thanks for the giggles-best c

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  21. Pretty good! I'll have to post a Bob Dylan inscription I wrote to my husband in a complete book of Dylan lyrics.

    Also, I like the music on your Player. Interesting grouping of songs. Love some of the obscure Sixties picks like "Time Won't Let Me" and "Five O'Clock World". I think I was in 8th or 9th grade when they hit the airwaves.

    Than you throw in Spirit, whom I loved. Never hear anyone refer to them any more.

    I am particularly amused by the Vaughn Monroe pick followed by the Outlaws cover.

    Hey! Where's Slim Whitman?

    Also, Tommy Dorsey & Sinatra...are you sure you're only 52?

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  22. Oboy, finally a comment on my music!

    "Time Won't Let Me" and "Red Rubber Paul" -- oops, I mean "Red Rubber Ball," which was written by Paul (Simon!) -- were two of my favorite songs when I was in third grade.

    My other, "retired" blog, David'Z RantZ, has some heavy-duty posts on musical subjects. Lesley Gore, The Guess Who... and the incomparable Jay Black (of Jay & the Americans) even gets a lengthy two-parter which got a favorable email from a friend of Jay's.

    I love all the versions of "Ghost Riders!" Johnny Cash, the Blues Brothers... There are a couple of songs which I have more than one version of listed.

    No Slim Whitman, sorry. To those in my age group, he didn't exist until that ubiquitous TV commercial for his all-time hits showed up at all hours on TV.

    As far as my age... Sure I listed Sinatra (and Gene Kelly and Benny Goodman and...) but hey, I love Mozart, too, and I'm not holding onto any tickets stubs from his concerts!

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  23. New from K-TEL; it's the very best of Slim Whitman! Okay, now I'll go make that coffee...dum de dum de dum...

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  24. Hahaha Only you, David...only you. And I do really mean that in a good way. :)

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