I'm... It?

Yeah. I'm "it."

Now when I say "I'm it," I don't mean that as if to say "I'm all that!" (Not that I'd ever use that all-too-trendy expression about anyone...) No, no, no, I mean "I'm it" as in "Tag! You're it!"

And I've been tagged.

A young lady named Marianna -- at least that's her user name -- has magnanimously decided to include me in one of those little internet games popular among bloggers. More on that in a few seconds, fellow babies.

Marianna is one of the many Blogger-bloggers who, like myself, participates in something called "Theme Thursday," which is how she and I "found" each other... you (and she) should pardon the expression. She has a blog called The Momentary Cloudiness of a "Dirty" Mind, which I recommend... thus, the linky thing. It's quite enjoyable, except for the disappointing fact that she doesn't really seem to have a "dirty" mind. Ummm... That's just a joke, everybody. If I wanted porn, I suppose I could find it somewhere on the internet if I searched diligently enough.

Anyway, here are the rules. I've seen slight variations on this list, but this list is the list as... ummm... listed on Marianna's blog! (And yes, silly rabbits, I purposely used the word "list" over & over!)

1. Mention the person who tagged you on your blog.
2. Use your creativity and write 6 things about you (some suggest things "of no real importance," so if you shot JFK, for example... skip that).
3. Tag 6 more blog pals.
4. Notify them by posting a comment or sending them an e-mail saying the words "you've been tagged" (or however else you wanna express yourself really)!

In other words, it's kinda like a chain letter, but I don't get any money.

(Hm. So why am I doing this?)

Now... If there's one thing I've learned about Blogger-bloggers over the past fifteen months or so (when my other blog, David'Z RantZ, moved over from its original Diaryland host), its that they tend to hang together in a (non-sexual) incestuous kinda way, commenting on each other's blogs , referencing each other in their blog posts (which can confuse the hell out of new readers), and generally playing off one another.

So. If I pick any of them ("them" being regular Theme Thursday players, that is), I'll probably be picking people who've already tagged one another. But I'd rather spread this around. For that reason, my List of Six will not use any of the people I've come to know via Theme Thursday. Instead I'll rely on those I've been linked to for the past year or so. In alphabetical order, here goes (and clicking on any or all of these will open a new tab or window, so click away!):

1. Cake's Off-Topic Blog About Nothing
2. Dinosaur Casserole
3. [link deleted]
4. My Family and Other Animals
5. Silver Fox Tales (no "relation" to me, the "Silver Fox" whose crap blog you're reading now!)
6. This Just In

And now, six facts about myself:

1. I write very long-winded blog posts. Actually, since I'm writing to you and not actually speaking to you, there's probably a more appropriate term than "long-winded," but this hoity-toity "writer" ain't got it.

I know I'm not surprising anyone already familiar with my blogs by saying I'm wordy, but I think this will be a great opportunity to justify myself a bit. After all, there are those who feel that a good blogger needs to be brief and to the point.

I'm my own worst critic, and I really don't have all that large an ego -- occasional references by this reader or that reader that he or she is my "fan" makes me feel uneasy, somehow -- but my writing style is indeed a wordy style. And common sense tells me that if you come to my blog again and again over time, you pretty much like what I say and how I say it. I've even had a few people comment that they like reading my stuff even when the topic itself doesn't interest them, which I consider a very high compliment indeed.

Hell, even when I write something that I think is uncharacteristically brief, I spend an extra paragraph pointing out that it is uncharacteristically brief!

Anyone who follows my blog knows what he or she is in for, and I'm sure as hell not someone who's likely to end up on Twitter! Besides, you wouldn't go to see a hard rock band at a bar, and then leave saying "It was awful! It was all loud music, and everybody was drinking and getting drunk!" But I realize some of my entries practically require lifetime commitments, which is why I end almost everything I write with "Thanks for your time," or words to that effect.

Now, that whole bit about ego or lack of same leads me indirectly to another fact about myself:

2. I (occasionally) browse the articles in women's magazines. Yep. They're quite illuminating when it comes to understanding the way women really think -- which is, or should be, important to any man who actually cares about women as people -- as opposed to the supposedly-helpful articles in men's magazines. (And by "men's magazines," I mean those geared to guys who want to live rounded lives, like Maxim -- to list just one example -- as opposed to skin mags like Hustler.)

It's always intrigued me that women appreciate subtleties lost on most men. On the subject of ego, for instance, a guy has to achieve an elusive balance to be appealing. He can't be an arrogant jerk, of course. He does have to be confident. He can be slightly humble, but it's a turn-off if he's too self-deprecating...

What are you trying to do, ladies, make these poor guys think?

(Gee, maybe someday I should dig out that old article that almost sold to a women's mag, and post it here...)

I once made this "confession" about perusing women's magazines to a male friend who winked knowingly and said "Know thy enemy, huh?" but I disagreed. Women aren't the enemy. In fact, most of my close friends are women, and that's a statement I've been able to make for over twenty years. Right now, I have -- probably -- three fairly close friends who are male, and that's as high as that number has been for several years.

I should probably segué from point 2 to point 3 here, and say that although I'm this wonderful guy who appreciates women's intelligence, and their friendship, and all that...

3. I am a self-proclaimed Male Slut. This is, strangely enough, referred to less on The Lair of the Silver Fox than it was on my older blog, David'Z RantZ. And there's a reason for that.

Quite honestly, neither my "RantZ persona" nor my "Foxy persona" is 100% David M. Lynch.

The "Silver Fox" is, generally, someone with minor literary pretensions, a usually-serious and -- dare I say it? -- somewhat sensitive soul. The guy who digs out those thirty-year-old poems, don'tcha know. But that's only a side of me.

The "David" (a/k/a "David'Z" in the various Blogger comments sections) of David'Z RantZ was a much more abrasive, bitchy observer of a world which refused to cater to his sensibilities, a guy who was constantly flirting with -- but never really hitting on -- the female Blogger-bloggers in their respective comments sections. That's only a side of me, as well.

The true me lies somewhere in between. "Probably closer to famous potatoes." (Sorry... George Carlin reference.) I can hang out with a bunch of pretentious intellectuals (which is not to say that all intellectuals are pretentious!), and be fairly comfortable in a biker bar, as well.

And that's the guy -- the guy who can be cultured or crude according to whim or necessity -- who, along with a couple of friends nearly thirty years ago, was lamenting the unfairness of the sexist attitude which lauds horny young men for "sowing their wild oats" yet condemns horny young women as "sluts."

Not fair, we agreed. We also agreed that people would probably never be convinced to stop calling these women sluts -- at least not in our lifetimes -- so in the interest of equality and fair play, we should instead call the "horny young men" I mentioned above by the epithet of "slut" as well.

And since my friends and I were -- you guessed it -- horny young men, we "became" sluts. Sluts with principles. Sensitive, cultured, intellectual, equality-minded, fair-playing, non-sexist sluts!

Just thought I'd share that with you.

4. I am a notorious procrastinator. I even wrote an appropriate quote in "honor" of the fact, although it took me a while to come up with it... fittingly enough: "The only thing that cannot be successfully put off until a later time is procrastination."

Over thirty years ago, I encountered a news story about some national organization or society for procrastinators. I was intrigued, especially when I learned that they'd already postponed their first national convention two years in a row. I made a vow that I'd track them down and join. The first time I actually made the effort to do so was a couple of years ago, however... which, strangely enough, ought to make me a member in good standing.

That kinda leads in to #5...

5. If you ever loan me a book or a video, I'll either have it back to you during the week, or not for several months... or even years. I just have to keep from getting sidetracked before I can read or view it. It's like how you can actually teach a cat a trick, if you can keep his or her interest.

...which leads me to the sixth and final entry!

6. I love how you can say almost anything to a pet, as long as you use a tone of voice appropriate to whatever you're actually trying to convey. After all, they don't really understand more than a few oft-repeated words of "humanspeak." If my cat is on my computer table -- one of the very few places I absolutely never allow him to venture -- and I angrily yell "Flounder!" or "Hairbrush!" instead of "Get down!" he'll still get down, trust me!

The same goes for when you're holding and petting them. As long as your voice is soft and low, or high-pitched and playful, you can be saying, "You're a little pain in the ass," or "You're a fuzzy little f**k-head," and they don't care. They really don't. It's great.

And you wanna know something else that's cool? The same thing works for babies, too -- the human kind -- for at least the first few months, anyway.

Sometimes, life is good.

I'm done.

Thanks for your time.