The Unofficial Biography (Originally Posted on 11/16/2011, Edited and Expanded)

(Most of what appear to be photographs in the following post are actually cave paintings. Yes, they're that old. Just sayin'.)

Many years ago -- many, many, many years ago, fellow babies -- on this very date, a foxling was born in a building many referred to by a brand new word: "hospital."

The fox-child was precocious, to say the least. To the doctor whose hand smacked the newborn baby's pink buttocks, the child said "You do that again, and I'll run you over as soon as I get my first tricycle." There is also an unsubstantiated report that the young lad inappropriately touched at least one of the hospital's prettier nurses.

The following photos cave paintings are not in strict chronological order!

In the above shot, the boy's older sister restrains him
from chasing after an attractive young married woman.

Sister Kathy has a "Boy, this is fake, but I don't wanna tip off my liddle

brudda!" look on her face. "Liddle brudda," I must say, looks kinda stoned.

Remember this coat...

Mom sure could get her money's worth when it came to clothing!

The not-yet-Silver Fox had early, solid crushes on at least two of the young girls pictured. Susan (top left), Linda (roughly
in the center of the middle row), and -- maybe -- Sharon (bottom left, right next to him). And I can still name almost every kid shown!

"Stick with me, baby, I'm goin' places!" (Note the unscripted hand-holding!)

Making nice with an alien invader on Christmas Day!

The alliance fell apart, however, when the lad joined the ranks of the superheroes!

"Sam" would have to do until the Fox grew old enough to ride The Lone Ranger's Silver, or Zorro's Tornado!

"I'll remember you, sucker. And someday..." (A private joke for my 2011 readers)

What a charmer!

Every year we'd stay at my Uncle Al's shack cottage on Cape Cod.

Don't ask. No, really. Don't ask.

I was nine-and-a-half here. The puppy is "Freddie," named after the lead singer of the 1960s
British Invasion group Freddie and the Dreamers, even though our Freddie was a female.

A brief stumbling block on the young superhero's road to fame!

Don't ask. No, really. Don't ask.

Uncle Ebeneezer in "The Ransom of Red Chief"

Dressed as a 1950s-style "greaser" for "Dippy Day," a high
school tradition every April 1st. This is from 1974, senior year.

"School's... out... for... ever!"

First band, the stupidly-named SHUDR.

Second, much better band. No groupies due to first fiancée.

Wonder what the song was...

Los Angeles, 1982, traveling in the footsteps of Jim Morrison, kinda/sorta...

26th birthday, 1982. The Doors. Of course.

"Put the camera down and come over here..."

"Now will you put the damned camera down?"

Hallowe'en, mid 1980s

In recent years, illustrations have largely replaced actual photographs. I could do a whole post on the story
behind this one. Our bakery transferred Emily's sketch to a going-away cake when I quit Shaw's Supermarket in 2000.

In recent years, illustrations have largely replaced actual photographs. (Welcome to South Park!)

In recent years, illustrations have largely replaced actual photographs. (Right, Pat?)

As I've said somewhere before, "In recent years, illustrations have
largely replaced actual photographs." (Sketch by Skip Simpson.)

Not sure how this ominously-lit Polaroid sneaked in here...

*  *  *  *  *

The changing

Of sunlight to moonlight

Reflections of my life

Oh how they fill my eyes

The greetings

Of people in trouble

Reflections of my life

Oh how they fill my eyes

All my sorrows

Sad tomorrows

Take me back to my own home

All my cryings

Feel I'm dying, dying

Take me back to my own home

I'm changing, arranging I'm changing,

I'm changing everything

Oh, everything around me

The world is a bad place

A bad place, a terrible place to live

Oh, but I don't wanna die

All my sorrows

Sad tomorrows

Take me back to my own home

All my cryings

Feel I'm dying, dying

Take me back to my own home

All my sorrows

Sad tomorrows

Take me back to my own home

* * * * * 

So sorry if you feel like I lured you here under false pretenses, folks! Thanks for attending my birthday party, fellow babies, and thanks for your time!

P.S. ~~ COMING SOON! (Watch for it!) A Re-Posting of One of the Best (and Longest) Stories I Ever Posted on This Blog!