The Unofficial Biography (Originally Posted on 11/16/2011, Edited and Expanded)

(Most of what appear to be photographs in the following post are actually cave paintings. Yes, they're that old. Just sayin'.)

Many years ago -- many, many, many years ago, fellow babies -- on this very date, a foxling was born in a building many referred to by a brand new word: "hospital."

The fox-child was precocious, to say the least. To the doctor whose hand smacked the newborn baby's pink buttocks, the child said "You do that again, and I'll run you over as soon as I get my first tricycle." There is also an unsubstantiated report that the young lad inappropriately touched at least one of the hospital's prettier nurses.

The following photos cave paintings are not in strict chronological order!

In the above shot, the boy's older sister restrains him
from chasing after an attractive young married woman.

Sister Kathy has a "Boy, this is fake, but I don't wanna tip off my liddle

brudda!" look on her face. "Liddle brudda," I must say, looks kinda stoned.

Remember this coat...

Mom sure could get her money's worth when it came to clothing!

The not-yet-Silver Fox had early, solid crushes on at least two of the young girls pictured. Susan (top left), Linda (roughly
in the center of the middle row), and -- maybe -- Sharon (bottom left, right next to him). And I can still name almost every kid shown!

"Stick with me, baby, I'm goin' places!" (Note the unscripted hand-holding!)

Making nice with an alien invader on Christmas Day!

The alliance fell apart, however, when the lad joined the ranks of the superheroes!

"Sam" would have to do until the Fox grew old enough to ride The Lone Ranger's Silver, or Zorro's Tornado!

"I'll remember you, sucker. And someday..." (A private joke for my 2011 readers)

What a charmer!

Every year we'd stay at my Uncle Al's shack cottage on Cape Cod.

Don't ask. No, really. Don't ask.

I was nine-and-a-half here. The puppy is "Freddie," named after the lead singer of the 1960s
British Invasion group Freddie and the Dreamers, even though our Freddie was a female.

A brief stumbling block on the young superhero's road to fame!

Don't ask. No, really. Don't ask.

Uncle Ebeneezer in "The Ransom of Red Chief"

Dressed as a 1950s-style "greaser" for "Dippy Day," a high
school tradition every April 1st. This is from 1974, senior year.

"School's... out... for... ever!"

First band, the stupidly-named SHUDR.

Second, much better band. No groupies due to first fiancée.

Wonder what the song was...

Los Angeles, 1982, traveling in the footsteps of Jim Morrison, kinda/sorta...

26th birthday, 1982. The Doors. Of course.

"Put the camera down and come over here..."

"Now will you put the damned camera down?"

Hallowe'en, mid 1980s

In recent years, illustrations have largely replaced actual photographs. I could do a whole post on the story
behind this one. Our bakery transferred Emily's sketch to a going-away cake when I quit Shaw's Supermarket in 2000.

In recent years, illustrations have largely replaced actual photographs. (Welcome to South Park!)

In recent years, illustrations have largely replaced actual photographs. (Right, Pat?)

As I've said somewhere before, "In recent years, illustrations have
largely replaced actual photographs." (Sketch by Skip Simpson.)

Not sure how this ominously-lit Polaroid sneaked in here...

*  *  *  *  *

The changing

Of sunlight to moonlight

Reflections of my life

Oh how they fill my eyes

The greetings

Of people in trouble

Reflections of my life

Oh how they fill my eyes

All my sorrows

Sad tomorrows

Take me back to my own home

All my cryings

Feel I'm dying, dying

Take me back to my own home

I'm changing, arranging I'm changing,

I'm changing everything

Oh, everything around me

The world is a bad place

A bad place, a terrible place to live

Oh, but I don't wanna die

All my sorrows

Sad tomorrows

Take me back to my own home

All my cryings

Feel I'm dying, dying

Take me back to my own home

All my sorrows

Sad tomorrows

Take me back to my own home

* * * * * 

So sorry if you feel like I lured you here under false pretenses, folks! Thanks for attending my birthday party, fellow babies, and thanks for your time!

P.S. ~~ COMING SOON! (Watch for it!) A Re-Posting of One of the Best (and Longest) Stories I Ever Posted on This Blog!

NO "COMICAL WEDNESDAY POST" ~~ A "Comical Wednesday" Post. HUH?!?

Sorry, fellow babies, but there will be no "Comical Wednesday" post about Terrificon 2018 this week.

In fact, there will be no "Comical Wednesday" post about anything this week... unless you count this one... and regardless of what it says in today's title, or in the list of labels below... I don't.

(And yes, of course I will be posting about the death of the one and only Stan Lee... Just not yet.)

Not only that, but I won't be writing about anything else today, either.

Why not? Well, y'see, I don't want to "bury" a post after only two days, when I post Friday's post.

And I will definitely be posting on Friday.

Why?

You'll see. Heh.

Thanks for your time.

P.S. ~~ COMING SOON! (Watch for it!) A Re-Posting of One of the Best (and Longest) Stories I Ever Posted on This Blog!

Sounds Like a WHAT?!? ~~ A "David'Z RantZ" Post

I will NEVER use the expression "Sounds like a plan!" Any plan you make IS a plan.

"I'm going to jump off a bridge."

"Sounds like a plan."

Well, yeah, it IS a plan, by definition.

Just a f***ing stupid one!

Thanks for your time.

P.S. ~~ COMING SOON! (Watch for it!) A Re-Posting of One of the Best (and Longest) Stories I Ever Posted on This Blog!

Green Chicken?!? ~~ A "Comical Wednesday" Post

Sorry, fellow babies! It's been a very hectic  week for me, and I just haven't had the time to finish writing Part Two of my series on Terrificon 2018. I'll have it done soon, I promise!

Today I'm just going to reprint the above cover to DC's Green Lantern #76 (April 1970), which began a run of incredible and influential stories by Denny O'Neil (writer) and Neal Adams (artist). That cover is considered to be a classic cover, and has been used as the model for at least three "tribute" covers.

Here are two of them:

This tribute to Neal Adams was drawn by... Neal Adams. (No, really.  But it wasn't his idea!)

And to those we add the following illustration, which relates to my recent post about Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Thanks for your time.

P.S. ~~ COMING SOON! (Watch for it!) A Re-Posting of One of the Best (and Longest) Stories I Ever Posted on This Blog!

Perception Is Relative... Innit?

The above cartoon came from MAD Magazine #68, which was cover-dated January, 1962... which means that it actually hit the newsstands in late 1961. I don't think I was actually reading MAD yet, so I must have seen that cartoon for the first time somewhat later, when I encountered an old copy of #68.

It's so true. Why would a child want an actual toy fire engine (no matter how big) when he could have that box?  As the cartoon shows, the box could indeed be a fire engine, but it could also be a fort, a car, a tank, a submarine, an airplane...

The following two photos are of a toy known as jacks. In my entire life, I never once played that particular game. But I had some when I was a kid (probably hand-me-downs from my older sister), and I found a use for them in my playtime.

You see jacks. This is what I saw, back when  I was five, or six, or seven...

Next, we have one of the many styles of curtain rods that exist. This is the style my mother always bought.

Those, too, could be anything I wanted them to be. One of them could be a rifle, a blind man's cane, or even (if held aloft the correct way) a submarine's periscope!

Next? How about those beverage holders you stick into your yard? There are several styles. The ones my family had when I was a child resembled these:

This is how the members of my family used them.

But myself? I looked at the "swirly" part and saw something more along the lines of this:

Which means that I ran around the yard pretending I had one of these:

And last, but certainly not least, here's a toy canoe made by Marx in the 1950s and 1960s. I had one just like this. But I didn't use it as a canoe, of course.

Y'see, around the age of five or so, I had a real "thing" for cows and bulls!

In fact, one day my family was riding somewhere in my home state of Massachusetts, and we saw this 3D billboard!

Predictably, I was fascinated! My mom even had an enlargement made of the above photo, which has been in my possession for well over fifty years (hence its somewhat rough shape).

For many years, I had absolutely no idea where this photo was taken. Not until relatively recently, that is, when I Googled the partial information shown on the first photo, and... Well, maybe I'll tell you about that some other time!

So, you may be wondering what the hell that yellow toy canoe had to do with cows and bulls? Well, at the tender age of four or five, I convinced my mother to sew that canoe onto (of all things) a blue-and-white checkered cap. Not a so-called baseball cap, but something that looked more like this:

Hey, it was the most appropriate hat I owned for my idea! That, idea, of course, was to wear the cap with the sewn-on canoe, because to my four-year-old mind, it was the closest thing I could get to something that would let me pretend to be a bull!

So, you see, after all those inspirations during my formative years, writing my own stories years later was a walk in the park!

Oh, by the way, I should probably mention that I didn't have to use my imagination to obtain any of my toys. (Well, maybe the bull headgear...) My parents bought me almost every toy I ever desired. No, I wanted to exercise my imagination. Just sayin'.

Thanks for your time.