Friday, March 16, 2012

Finding Jesus



So, Jesus has been spotted once again, this time on someone's wall... which has since been painted over!

It's absolutely amazing how many times Jesus and his mom have appeared on foods... appliances... all sorts of surfaces! Here are just some of the places people have "found Jesus:"








This one's my favorite...


I think the next two are really pushing it...



And I think this one -- a Funyun ostensibly depicting the Virgin Mary and the newborn Christ child -- is really pushing it!


But the thing that cracks me up the most about these professed miracles is that they more or less show an image of Jesus which is in accordance with the average man's conception of what he looked like. It's not like any photos exist, nor any contemporary drawings, right?

After all, most of us in the Western hemisphere -- and not only those with a Christian background -- are used to picturing Jesus pretty much like these examples:


Or maybe Hollywood has given us our image of Jesus, especially film classics featuring actors such as...

Max Von Sydow in The Greatest Story Ever Told...


Or Jeffrey Hunter in King of Kings... This is the version of Christ that's popularly known as (I swear) "Jesus of Malibu!"


And I couldn't resist adding this photo!


Doesn't that actor look eerily familiar, fellow babies? Or don't you recognize him without his Dracula cape? That's right, the above photo is of none other than a young Bela Lugosi!

Back to the core article, here...

The problem is, educated minds say that Jesus probably didn't look like any of the above! Instead, he almost assuredly resembled the average Semitic man of the first century A.D.

Don't forget, Jesus was a Jew. (And let's try to ignore Archie Bunker's famous line "Yeah, but only on his mother's side!") So modern forensic anthropologists, using skulls native to that area of the world from that very era, have determined that he very probably looked more like this:


Things like the length of Jesus' hair, his eye color, and even his height were determined by several variables. Click here if you want to learn all the fascinating details!

So... what's my freakin' point? Simply this: If Jesus did indeed resemble the swarthier-looking, short-haired gent above, as postulated by today's scientific experts...

Who's this tiny-nosed, hippie-looking guy who keeps appearing on people's toast, frying pans, and potato chips?!?

Thanks for your time.

31 comments:

  1. Who? Charles Manson! ha. Especially that guy on the tortilla chip!

    And isn't that Drazin in the candy bar?

    I've always thought these were hilarious as some resemble a face but not anyone's in particular.

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  2. I'm surprised you've never seen Jesus in all the "face foods" you've posted about!

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    1. No, just George Washington and Julius Caesar.

      And isn't that the Mona Lisa on the iron? ha.

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    2. Betsy I never seen the Mona Lisa in my iron lol

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    3. in the food, the people is crazy absolutely:)

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    4. haha...I haven't either! Maybe that person irons even more than you...the heat got to their brain. lol.

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    5. how did this post move over to my post? lol.

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  3. People see what they want to see. It's like when someone writes a poem, and 47 people read it and discern 47 different meanings.

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  4. OMG Really I dont think Jesus would in a dirty skillet, OM

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    1. and they painted over his face on the wall! They must not have been too sincere about it. ha.

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    2. I let you other comment in guacamole (lol)

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  5. Yeah it's a crock. When people look hard enough they will find what their mind wants them to find. Whether it be a face or a number. Those dumb numbers are ten times worse. Oh everything equals 10, you take this away from this and that away from that and if it doesn't work this do hicky from that do hicky and poof 10!! Pffft stupid!

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    1. numbers? I haven't heard of that one! Do a post, Pat! ha.

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    2. Yeah, really! What are you talking about, Pat?

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    3. Like how they see Jesus's so call face on everything. They see their special number everywhere. So say it was 10. It will be a lucky day because I'm on 11th street with just me, so take my 1 car from 11 and you get 10. Just like the face they always look for it and make it happen, again seeing what they want to see.

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    4. Oh! Yeah, with a little ingenuity, you can make your number come up anywhere!

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  6. dude that funyon one is real i tell you...yeah we want a jesus that looks like us....but....

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    1. Artists' conceptions of Jesus vary like portraits of Santa Claus. The ethnic and/or national background of the artist often influences the portrait!

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  7. I think that's Jerry Garcia showing up on all those appliances, walls, and food. As for the speculative portrait based on forensic anthropological parameters... I almost choked on my scotch - it's Lenny Bruce with a beard! Who knew?

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    1. haha...Roy, you crack me up. I actually think that could be you on the coffee mug!

      And it's that the caveman from the Geico commercials on that banana?

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    2. I told you this banana face scared me:)

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    3. I know what remember me this banana face: someones of the Rise of the Planet of the Apes

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    4. @Roy: Pretty funny! And it's nice to see you commenting!

      @Betsy: The Geico cavemen... That's one of the many reasons I don't miss watching TV!

      @Gloria: There were a lot of bananas in those "Apes" films, weren't there? I don't remember any other faces on them, though!

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    5. well the faces of these monkeys is the same of this banana (scared) sometimes here repeat that movie but I dont like:(

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  8. Anyway I have to say I know Río de Janeiro Jesus and is really beauty and awesome (nothing to do with others pictures or similar) is like Him is Blessing the city, and inside Him in the bottom there are a little chappel so beauty! anyway the picture of Rio de Janeiro is beauty too:)

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  9. Fox...you know you had me giggling with this one. I once saw Roger Waters in my bowl of shredded wheat, but had no camera on me at the time. Oh...and for some reason, I am not allowed to sign up for follow up comments...advice for the computer illiterate?

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  10. Underneath the box where you write your comment, there should be a notation on the far right saying "Subscribe by email." Click on that.

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I strongly urge you to sign up for follow-up comments, because I (usually) reply to your comment!

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