David'Z RantZ: I Have Seen the Future

The incomparable Johnny Carson (left) and "The Amazing Criswell"
(right), someone else who could have laid claim to being a "silver fox!"
(Don't bother clicking on it. It's only a photo, not an embedded video!)

Welcome to "Foxwell Predicts," or, more appropriately, "RantZwell Predicts." (And if you don't "get" those two references, click here, fellow babies.)

The vast majority of the time, I try to speak properly. And by "properly," I mean grammatically rather than politely. To give only one example, I never say "ain't," unless I'm quoting someone else, or using it in an almost sarcastic manner.

But I'm not overly obsessive about speaking correctly. I'll occasionally use "who" where "whom" is warranted. And if I'm sick, I'll say "I'm not feeling good" rather than "I'm not feeling well." (Of course, to my twisted way of thinking, "feeling good" means being healthy, and "feeling well" means that my date for the evening will be speaking very highly of me the next time she gossips with her friends.)

As a writer, I heartily support artistic license. After all, who the hell would want to hear Janis Joplin singing "Bobby McGee and I?"

Just don't get me started on "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids," okay?

The English language is a so-called "living" language, and as such, it's constantly changing. I can accept that, even when these changes are made without my being consulted beforehand (which strikes me as being just plain rude).

I don't mind changes prompted by the language's natural evolution.

What I mind are inconsistent changes, and -- even worse, much worse -- changes brought about because people are too apathetic about doing things right.

Ummm... I mean, doing things correctly.

Due to this aforementioned apathy, I predict that in five to ten years -- maybe more, maybe less -- we'll find that the following changes have overtaken our "mother tongue" (Well, those whose mothers speak English, that is!):

1. If you want to make a singular word into a plural word, you'll add an apostrophe, and then an "S." Thus, the plural form of, for example, "egg" will no longer be "eggs." It'll be "egg's." And don't tell me you haven't noticed that half the population's doing that already!

2. The spelling of the following words -- but not their meanings -- will become interchangeable: accept & except, than & then, affect & effect, waist & waste, breath & breathe, who's & whose, clothes & cloths, and where & were.

3. The possessive pronoun, "its," will be permanently replaced by "it's." At least this makes some sense, since an apostrophe so often denotes possession ("David's next class," "the farmer's daughter," etc.). On the other hand, I never saw anyone write "hi's" instead of "his." Well... not yet, anyway.

4. "And" will be constantly substituted for the indefinite article "an." However, the reverse will not hold true.

5. The word "lose" -- pronounced "looz" -- will disappear entirely, replaced by "loose," currently pronounced "loos," rhyming with "juice" and "goose." At this point, "loose" will be pronounced as either "looz" or "loos," depending on its ... ummm... use!

I blame a lot of this crap on the single-mindedness of the spell-checkers upon which so many of us rely. (Okay, I'll admit it: I really wanted to write "the spell-checkers so many of us rely on.") I blame the rest on the apathy I keep mentioning.

The most galling part of all this is that when you do point out these kinds of mistakes, the usual response from people is a dismissive "It don't matter."

Yeah, you read that right. I mean... correctly.

"It don't matter."

In response to that, all I can say is "It does matter."

Or should that be, "It do matter?"

Thanks for your time.

A Short Ghost Post for "Theme Thursday!"

So, the Powers That Be behind Theme Thursday decided that this week's theme should be "Ghost!"

My initial reaction to that was something along the lines of "Gosh darn it!" (And I mean "Gosh darn it!" with a capital "F"!) "I just did a four-part ghost story during the last week of June!"

So... how was I going to handle the same subject without repeating myself, more or less?

A few ways came to mind, but the one I settled on was to re-write -- and hopefully, improve -- an article I did several years ago for the newsletter of my former employer, the Worcester, Massachusetts, pop culture emporium known as That's Entertainment, winner of the coveted Eisner Award!*

(*In case you're wondering why that sentence included so much detail... It's a running joke around here that I'm always giving T.E. a free plug in my blogs, and it's been a while since I did so!)

This article was about the history of a comic book character called the Ghost Rider.** He was a Western "cowboy" type, not a real ghost, but rather a U.S. Marshal who donned a white costume and pretended to be a ghost in order to scare the crap out of his enemies. The Ghost Rider, created in 1949, was drawn by Dick Ayers.

(**Not to be confused with the flaming-skulled motorcyclist portrayed by Nicholas Cage in the 2007 movie.)

Ayers had started his comic career working for Siegel and Shuster (creators of Superman) in the late 1940s. And Dick Ayers is a name which should be very familiar to those who have even a casual interest in the early days of what has been called "The Marvel Age of Comics."

So... My plan was to add a whole bunch of cool visual images to my re-vamped Ghost Rider article.

Yeah. That was the plan.

However, as Theme Thursday neared, I had several intrusions from that nasty sumbitch called my personal life, and it also occurred to me that just because I love writing about comic books, not everyone else likes reading about them. And while I've often said that this is my blog, and the first person I need to keep happy is myself, I don't want to push too many of you away by constantly having a comics-related theme.

Having said all that, I'm just going to throw a bunch of "teaser" illustrations at you now. But if you're one of those who does like reading about comics, and/or wants to read a lengthy story about a project I worked on with the one and only Dick Ayers himself... click here to read a series of posts called "The Once and Future Aero!"***

(***By the way, my multi-part post, "The Once and Future Aero," contains unpublished Dick Ayers art, never seen elsewhere. Let me repeat that, for emphasis: "The Once and Future Aero" contains unpublished Dick Ayers art, never seen elsewhere! So basically, what I'm saying is, "The Once and Future Aero" contains unpublished Dick Ayers art, never seen elsewhere! Got it?)

And maybe some day, I'll take the time to re-work that blasted article anyway!

"The Ghost Rider" was originally published by a company called Magazine Enterprises.
Above is one of their typical "Ghost Rider" covers, with an appropriate horror theme!

The above cover was drawn by legendary fantasy artist
Frank Frazetta! (By the way, I own a copy of this issue!)

Here's the character's second incarnation, when Marvel Comics
revived him. Ayers once again handled the art chores!

And here's a nifty piece of original art from that period!

Boy! Would I like to get my hands on one of these!

Thanks for your time!

R.I.P. Something REALLY Important!

No, not another damned celebrity.

This probably won't matter to most of you, but...

I recently learned that an incredible blog called Dial B for Blog has not only stopped posting new entries -- that happened a few months ago -- but has disappeared from the internet entirely (so I can't even link to it for you).

Dial B for Blog was primarily about comic books (especially Silver Age comics) and other related subjects. It was an amazingly informative, well-researched, entertaining blog, and I'll miss it a lot more than some of those celebs who've recently passed on. (And no, no names.)

Thanks for your time.

P.S. -- UPDATE -- Dial B for Blog has returned to the internet! Not sure how long ago. Since I thought it was permanently deleted, I wasn't looking for it, of course! But who cares when it returned? It's back, and highly recommended!

Six(ty-Six) Degrees of Separation

Back in the early 1960s, there was a TV show called Route 66. It starred Martin Milner and George Maharis. (Maharis later left the show and was replaced by Glenn Corbett.)

Milner and Maharis

But I'm not here to talk about the show itself.

I'm here to talk about its theme song.

Now, forty-five years after the series left the airwaves, there are people out there who think that the theme to Route 66, composed by the one and only Nelson Riddle, was instead the old standard "Route 66"... also known as "(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66."

It's an easily-understood mistake, but a mistake nonetheless.

"(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66" has been performed by numerous artists... everyone from Nat "King" Cole to Chuck Berry to the Rolling Stones to... Well, the list goes on.

There's a little game I play, one where I connect the Route 66 theme to the other "Route 66," using the old "six degrees of separation" set-up.

Here 'tis:

1. As mentioned above, Route 66 starred Martin Milner and George Maharis.
2. Martin Milner went on to star with Kent McCord in Adam-12.
3. Adam-12 was produced by Jack Webb (of Dragnet fame).
4. Jack Webb also produced Emergency.
5. Emergency featured Bobby Troup in its supporting cast.
6. Bobby Troup was better known as a songwriter than an actor... and he had written "(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66" in the 1940s!

Bobby Troup

And last but not least, both songs, for your enjoyment!

Thanks for your time.

Thirty-Eight Years Ago Today...

Thirty-eight years ago today (as it says above), Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors, died. (And yes, I do believe he's dead, no matter how much hypemasters like Ray Manzarek would have you believe otherwise... when the mood hits him, that is.)

I'm a big fan of his, and theirs. I differentiate between "his" and "theirs" because I appreciate Mr. Mojo Risin' as a poet, and I appreciate The Doors as a group, even after he died and they came out with two Jim-less LPs... which I own.

When the Jerry Hopkins and Danny Sugerman bio of Jim, No One Here Gets Out Alive, came out... I devoured it. He'd only been gone about ten years at that point. But reading that book sent me into several creative avenues. All of them were good, except for my Morrisonesque poetry of the time. That sucked big ones, fellow babies. (Trust me on that, 'cause you'll never see that crap here!)

So, at this point, you probably expect me to fill your little head full of "I'll-bet-you-didn't-know-that!" Doors trivia, and/or embed a bunch of appropriate YouTube videos, right?

Not this time.

Instead I'm going to embed one YouTube video, and it's not even by The Doors! It's the new one by "Weird Al" Yankovic, entitled "Craigslist." Al does an incredible parody of The Doors' style, rather than one song (although there are obvious similarities to both "When the Music's Over" and "Twentieth Century Fox," among others).

And if you're wondering how they got the keyboards to sound so close to Ray Manzarek's style... Ask Ray Manzarek. He's playing them!

Thanks for your... Oh, hell, I said I wasn't actually going to include anything by The Doors, but here goes:

Happy now? Good. (So am I.)

Thanks for your time.

Get Down, Get FUNKY! -- A "Theme Thursday" Post

Today's "Theme Thursday" topic is "Funky."

Lotsa ways to go here. There's the musical meaning(s), there's the "blue funk" phrase that describes a certain kind of depressed feeling, there's "Do the Funky Chicken," there's a comic strip called "Funky Winkerbean"...!

As it happens, I've been kinda drugged up lately -- legally, due to a minor back injury -- so I'm gonna try to keep my contributions to a minimum of comments between a few YouTube clips.

Anyway, here's my take on the subject:

You know you're "old" when:

1. You can remember when "classic rock" and "oldies" had a different name: "Top 40."
2. You fall down, and more parts of your body ache than just the part(s) that hit the ground.
3. You can remember when Neil Diamond was considered a rock'n'roller.
4. You can remember when Sally Struthers was considered sexy.

[I should add something very recent: "You know you're 'old' when you react adversely to an eBay dealer's description of a 1977 magazine as an 'antique!' "]

5. And finally, you know you're "old" when you can remember the following song being on the Top 40, not once, nor twice, but three times!

Ahhh, yes, Grand Funk Railroad (also known as, simply, Grand Funk, for some reason which must have made sense to someone back then)! They got their name from the Grand Trunk Western Railroad. "Funk" was just a play on words. They weren't really a funk band.

This was the group that gave us the best-known version of "Some Kind of Wonderful." This was the group that gave us "We're an American Band," the first song I ever sang in front of an audience in my very first rock band. This was the group that gave us "Bad Time," a song I still can't hear almost thirty-five years later without thinking of a certain cashier I worked with at my first job. And this was the group that gave us "Foot Stompin' Music." 'Nuff said there, if you've ever heard it.

Then of course, there was a group called the James Gang, which included a kick-ass guitarist named Joe Walsh, who went on to a bright solo career and a stint with The Eagles. The James Gang did a little tune called "Funk #49."

And finally for today, I'm giving you a little ditty called "Funky Nassau" by a group called "The Beginning of the End."

And is it just me, or do you agree that the longer you listen to them repeating the words "funky Nassau," those words start sounding like... well... something else?

Thanks for your time.

Death, Be Not Proud. PROLIFIC, Maybe, But Not Proud!

(Gotta post this quickly, before somebody else who's famous dies!)

In the past (on my David'Z RantZ blog), I've stated that "I've devoted a lot of space in these RantZ to celebrity obituaries. Well, not obituaries per se, but little tributes of my own, as it were. And not just any celebrities -- Lord knows, there are plenty of places on the internet which fulfill that particular function! -- but those celebrities for whom I held a particular respect, fondness, and/or admiration. And I've tried to say something with my own personal slant each time."

Today's post will be slightly different from the norm. A little less structured, and a little more irreverent than my usual tribute(s)... You'll see what I mean.

As I'm sure you're aware, there have been more than the average amount of actors, singers, and whatnot dropping off of the planet during the past week. And I'm forgoing my usual take on these multiple deaths, even going so far as to omit my standard "R.I.P." notation.

I don't even have my own so-called "personal slant" for some of them. I was only familiar with actress Gale Storm by reputation, having never seen My Little Margie or any of the programs in which she was prominently featured in. In a similar vein, although I'd enjoyed impressionist Fred Travalena's act whenever I'd seen him perform on TV, I can't really go so far as to list him as someone "for whom I held a particular respect, fondness, and/or admiration."

(By the way, today's post won't talk about Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson's second banana on The Tonight Show. Ed will get his very own write-up in an upcoming post.)

So here's my take on a few of the ones we've just lost:

Sky Saxon

The leader of The Seeds, the group that gave us "Pushin' Too Hard" and "I Can't Seem to Make You Mine" in the psychedelic sixties, never really escaped his hippiedom... and I'm not necessarily saying that's a bad thing.

Sky "Sunlight" Saxon, man!

Michael Jackson

*sigh* There's been so much speculation about this incredibly talented dude's personal life, it's almost... almost... over-shadowed his tremendous contribution to the world of music. Maybe you're as sick as I am of all the news coverage of his unexpected death. If so, I'll just take up enough time to say this: I saw the Jackson 5 debut on The Ed Sullivan Show in the late 1960s, and it was obvious that the dynamic little shit zipping back and forth across that stage, belting out "I Want You Back," was going to become a huge star.

Michael Jackson was one of the few who could get away with singing a love song to a rat ("Ben"), and he went on to even bigger success, culminating in the multi-million-selling "Thriller" LP (which some eBay dealers insist on describing as -- I swear to God -- "rare!")

It's the earlier version of Michael Jackson that I'd like to remember, rather than the creepy and controversial object of curiosity which he became.

And, in that spirit:

This is my personal favorite of the half-dozen or so
computer-generated images I've seen showing what
Michael Jackson might have looked like if he'd never had
any of his disastrous cosmetic surgeries. (Full article here.)

Farrah Fawcett

I was a young adult when Farrah first hit the big time, so I was a bit older than the teenage boys who bought her famous poster for Lord knows what kind of inspiration. But I did watch Charlie's Angels for a season or so, and casually -- as opposed to slavishly -- followed Farrah's career as she did her damnedest over the years to be taken seriously as an actress.

In projects like The Burning Bed and Extremities, she earned her spurs, and I hope she'll always be given credit for those kind of roles in between mentions of a "jiggle show" like Charlie's Angels or a series of jokes about her semi-lucid appearance with David Letterman back in 1997.

A slightly different shot of Farrah, from the same
photo session that produced the iconic poster!

And last but not least, someone whom I was... umm... slightly less than kind to over the years: Billy Mays!

In a previous blog post (again, on David'Z RantZ), I wrote "I love oxymorons. Probably at the top of everybody's list is the oft-mentioned 'military intelligence.' But I also like to list 'disco heaven,' 'happily married,' and... Billy Mays."

In keeping with that sentiment, I later wrote an entire post about him called "Billy Mays, The Oxy-Moron!" in which I said "I really can't stand this guy. If I wanted someone to scream at me like that, I'd turn up the volume on my television."

But gee, folks, I never wished him dead or nuthin'...

As I've said previously, this is a rarely-seen nude photograph
of big, bushy, bearded Billy Mays. Or should I say it this way:
BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!!
THIS IS A RARELY-SEEN NUDE
PHOTOGRAPH OF BILLY MAYS!!!

Thanks for your time.

P.S. -- I don't think Fred Travalena really died. He's just doing an impression of one of the others who did.